But she’d said no.
Heavily, with face grim, he stared blankly over the gardens, the sun slipping lower and dusk gathering, the endless cicadas striking up, it seemed, even more loudly with their incessant chorus.
She said no because she would never marry me for what I did to her. Because I think her a thief.
His expression set. That accusation he’d first made seven long years ago, had gone on saying, lay between them like the blade of a sword. The blade that he’d used, seven long years ago, to sever her from him.
Because it was the only weapon I had.
He frowned. What did that mean? It hung there, making no sense. Why should he have needed a weapon? What for?
The sound of his name being called from the terrace made him turn. His father was beckoning him, and Xander made his way back indoors. He glanced at his father’s face as his manservant poured their usual aperitifs. His father’s mood was good. He was glad that Xander was back in Greece. He’d asked no questions about what had been keeping him returning to England, and Xander suspected his father was hoping it was because he was dating again.
His mouth compressed as he accepted the martini being handed to him. He was going to have to tell his father the truth about why he was spending so much time in England. But how could he when his own mind was in such tumult? The words that had come to him out by the pool circled again, still making no sense.
It was the only weapon I had.
And then, as they circled, meaning came to him, explaining everything. Why he’d needed a weapon, and what he’d used it for.
My accusation of her was the only weapon I had so I could make the choice I made.
He stilled, feeling cold wash through him. Realisation.
The choice, he faced it now, expression drawn and sombre, forcing himself to face it, as he stood in his father’s house, the father who had longed for him to marry—the choice that he should never have made.
That had ruined his life.
Laurel was out in the garden kicking a football around with Dan in the last of the daylight. But Dan was not enthusiastic, she could see.
“I’m not as good as your dad, I know,” she said apologetically.
“It’s okay, Mum,” he said. He dribbled the ball past her and back again, then stopped and turned to her.
“When is Dad coming home?” he asked. “I miss him.”
“Not till Greek Easter is over,” she said. “He explained that to you. He’s gone back to Greece to see his family.”
Dan looked at her. “Aren’t we his family?”
Laurel felt her throat tighten. “He has family in Greece as well. His father for a start. Probably lots of cousins. I…I don’t really know.”
It wasn’t something Xander had ever talked about, way back on his yacht, except that he’d mentioned his father and that his mother had died when he was at university. It was something they had in common. Understanding each other’s loss. A rare moment when reality had made its presence felt in their headlong, lotus-eating idyll.
Until reality had slammed in big time. Olympia coming on board, wanting a ride back to Athens. Making it very clear just who she was to Xander.
Unlike me.
She pulled her thoughts away. Her pointless, futile thoughts. In the four days since Xander had taken himself off at the end of Easter Sunday it had been impossible not to let those thoughts in. Playing and replaying what Xander had said to her that day.
He wants to marry me.
The “perfect solution,” he’d called it.
The perfect poison.
Because that’s what it would be, she knew. Marrying Xander. Poison that tasted so sweet yet killed all the same in the end…
Wearily, she shut her eyes. Had he really thought she would agree to drink that sweet poison,killing her slowly, day after day.
