Night after night in his arms.
Wanting him so much, yet knowing that what had parted them seven years ago was still there between them.
Keeping them apart, dividing them still. That always would.
“Mum—”
Dan’s voice made her open her eyes. He was holding his football but not looking at her. He was staring at the back of the garage, the pathway that led between it and the wall of the cottage beyond the patio, his expression alert. The sound of tires on gravel, the low note of an engine.
Then he was running, dropping the football, racing across the patio and onto the pathway.
“It’s Dad! Mum, it’s Dad! It’s his car! It’s Dad!”
Behind him, Laurel froze. No, it couldn’t be Xander. He was in Greece, away till after the Orthodox Easter. Taking himself off early because she’d wanted him gone, because what he’d said to her, asked of her, was impossible.
I won’t drink that poison. I won’t. I dare not.
Beyond the garage she heard Dan’s voice exclaim excitedly, “Dad!”
Xander’s deep voice answering, Dan saying they were in the garden, the two of them appearing down the pathway, walking towards her, Dan clutching his father’s hand, his little face beaming.
“Dad’s home!” he cried, happiness radiating from him.
She went on standing there, frozen. But inside her a tumult.
Xander paused. His presence leaping at her, eyes going to her.
“You’re supposed to be in Greece,” she said. Her voice sounded hollow.
“I couldn’t stay,” he answered.
Xander shut the book he’d just finished reading to Dan and put it on his bedside table. He was propped on Dan’s bed, one arm around him. It was so good to feel Dan’s strong little body snuggled against him.
“I’m glad you’re back, Dad,” Dan said sleepily. “I missed you.”
Xander dropped a kiss on his dark head. “I missed you too,” he said.
Though it was not just his son he’d missed.
With Dan abed, the evening loomed ahead. The most important evening of his life. Heeached across for Mr. Teds and tucked him in beside his son as he eased himself to his feet.
“Where’s Mum?” Dan asked, still sleepy.
“I’ll call her,” Xander said. He crossed to the door, went out on to the landing. “Dan’s ready for lights out,” he called down, then went back into his son’s bedroom. Dan was yawning, hunkering down in the bedclothes, Mr. Teds beside him, and Xander settled the duvet over them both. He turned the bedside lamp off and the night light on, throwing a dim glow over the room. Footsteps sounded on the stairs, and then Laurel was coming into the room.
“Night night, Mum,” Dan said drowsily. Xander watched her come up to Dan’s bed, lean down and kiss his cheek tenderly.
“Night night, darling,” she said. Xander could hear the love in her voice. Emotion speared within him. He came up beside her. “Night night, son,” he said. He laid the palm of his hand gently on Dan’s head.
Dan’s eyelids were shutting, his breath slowing.
Xander felt Laurel move slightly away from him. As Dan eased into sleep, Xander spoke, his voice low, intent.
“Our son needs us both, Laurel, needs us as family.”
But it’s up to me to show her how. Now that I finally understand.
He stepped away, waiting by the door. For a moment longer Laurel just went on standing there, looking down at their sleeping son in the dim light. Then she moved quietly away, walking past Xander. She made no answer, but he followed her downstairs.
