Seriously? Laird had asked him that? “I’m a goddamn accoucheur, Laird. I’m pretty motherfucking sure.”
Oh, that was a tad more harsh than he had intended.
“Okay, all right, I hear you. I’m sorry.” Laird offered him a little smile. “I’m not sure what exactly you want?—”
Devon held up one hand. “Before you start, I would just like to say I realize this was not on your long-term plan, and I want to assure you I’m not asking you for anything. I am fully aware that we have vastly different lives, and I am not asking for any kind of support or any sort of, well, anything. If you’re interested in co-parenting, I’m totally happy to talk about that with you, but if you’re not, I understand completely. This is a very serious situation, and I just want you to know I totally understand, and I take responsibility for my actions.”
Now Laird was frowning at him. “So, what are you saying, Devon? You don’t want me to be involved?”
“No, of course not.” Devon waved a hand in the air, trying not to notice that it shook. “I’m just saying that I understand you probably didn’t sign on for this, and?—”
“So if I were to offer to marry you…”
He tried not to scoff because that would be hurtful, even if Laird took it exactly like he meant it. Which was how he was going to say it. “You don’t want to marry me, Laird. We’re just really getting to know each other well. I think we’ve had a couple of breakthroughs, but it’s not like we’re deep in each other’s pockets. You’re just now starting to spend the night when you come over.”
Laird’s expression smoothed out into somewhat of a blank slate, and his gaze turned very neutral. Devon knew well enough to know that that meant he’d hurt Laird’s feelings really bad, even though he hadn’t meant to.
“Sure, of course. We’re just having a thing.” Laird started to pace. “So co-parenting, what is this about?”
“Well, it means that you’re involved the whole way, and we make decisions about the baby together. And…” He trailed off, looking at the line of Laird’s back, which was ramrod straight, those shoulders, which were so wide. Rigid and unbending.
Ouch.
“Yeah, I guess I can see that.” Laird turned to face him. “I’m not mad at you, Devon. I’m not sure what I’m feeling. I was about to be really tickled, and then you started talking.”
His cheeks heated painfully. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just wanted you to know that I don’t expect you to completely change your life over this.”
“Okay, but you’ve kind of taken my choice of how to react to this away from me now. If I get all excited about it, then I’m overplaying my hand. If I yell at you or tell you that this is moving way too fast for me, not that it matters because a baby is a baby, then you’re going to be upset.” Laird shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “I just don’t know what to say now.”
Devin felt small and kind of miserable. “I’m sorry. I probably should have kept my mouth shut.”
“No, you absolutely should tell me stuff like this. I guess I just didn’t expect to hear that you thought we were at a totally different place in the relationship than I did.” Now, it was Laird who had red cheeks, and when he looked at Devon, it was with real hurt in his eyes. “I thought we were closer to the ‘I love you’ stage.”
For a moment, he absolutely couldn’t breathe, because it had never occurred to him that Laird felt like that was where they were. Devon had started to feel thatway, but this whole baby thing had thrown him for a loop.
He stared at Laird, not knowing what to do or say, because he wanted to hear those words more than anything. But he wanted them to be real, and he was so scared that they wouldn’t be.
And then there was this whole baby thing. He hadn’t tried to get pregnant, and he was, and he didn’t know what to do.
The world started to be a little swimmy. He shook his head, trying to clear it, and the next thing he knew, he was on the sofa with Laird holding his wrist, taking his pulse, talking to him. “Come on back, sweetheart.”
“What?”
“You passed out. I think your blood pressure dropped a little too much. You don’t feel like you’re shaky or anything. Do you feel like your blood sugars are all right?”
“Yeah, sorry. Stress and hormones and I’ve been so scared.” He just wanted something real. “I’m trying to be so adult about this and so logical, but all I’m going to do is ask you to hold me for a little bit because I’m really worried.”
Laird enfolded him in a hug so warm and perfect that he sighed, going boneless in Laird’s arms. “I got you, Devon. We have a lot to talk about, but I want you to know one thing right now. I’ve been kind of holding back and taking it slower because you seemed so worried about your dating track record. But I’m here. For you and for the baby.”
Pure relief flooded him. “I swear to you, I did not do this on purpose.”
Laird grinned, looked at him. “How many times, honey? How many times does the birth control fail?”
“About twenty percent.” For the most part, either his clients were trying these days or they just hadn’t been onbirth control for a while. In Andrew and Kynan’s case, he thought that they just decided that they needed more babies.
Either that, or Jack and Kynan were in some kind of a weird race. Right now, they were even up in their goal to repopulate the entirety of Secret Springs.
Those two alphas loved their omegas pregnant, and Chase and Andrew loved their alphas and their big families.
