If I want to prove I mean it, I have to do something I should’ve done eight years ago. I have to humble myself to the people who supported her well before me and long after I abandoned her.
My stomach turns.
This isn’t going to be easy.
16
REBOUND CONTROL: SMOTHERING OR DIRECTING REBOUNDS
Idon’t ease into it.
The second the call connects—Christin holding a drink in her kitchen with her hair piled on top of her head, Emery stretched out on her couch like gravity owns her muscles, and Maya perched cross-legged on her chaise—I blurt out, “I had sex with Brennan.” Then I take a sip from my mug.
Christin freezes mid-sip. Emery’s eyebrows shoot up so fast I’m surprised they don’t leave her face. Maya blinks like her phone just glitched.
The silence lasts exactly three seconds.
Then Emery tilts her head. “Okay. So we’re opening with chaos. Love that for us.”
“I knew it,” Christin says, pointing at her screen like I’m physically in front of her.
Emery says, “I mean, the universe could have been dragging him back into her orbit for latent apologies and emotional maturity.”
Emery’s comment cracks us all up. I’ve barely caught my breath from the laughter when Maya leans closer to her screen. “Clarifying question. When you say sex?—”
“His shirt off. Both our bottoms off. FYI—my entry way is not safe for leaning.”
Maya flicks her hand. “Check.”
Christin draws out, “Oooohhhh.”
Emery questions. “So, are you feeling guilty about your ‘sex is a choice’ era?”
I think about it as I scan each of their faces for disappointment. For the careful looks. For the lecture about self-respect and boundaries and how far I’ve come.
None of it comes.
Christin sets her drink down gently. “Okay. First things first. Were you safe?”
“Yes.”
“Was it consensual?” Maya asks, serious now.
“Yes.”
“Did he apologize?” Emery adds.
My “Yes” is much softer and touched with vulnerability I know they all can hear.
Christin demands, “Like—with words. And accountability. And at least a little suffering?”
I roll my eyes. “Yes, Chris. He apologized. Thoroughly.”
“Good,” Emery says. “Because otherwise I’d be having a strongly worded conversation with fate.”
“Speaking of that…” I catch them up on how Brennan found out the truth from Mark. That Mark felt so guilty seeing me after so long that he couldn’t hold it in any longer.
Maya’s voice is gentle. “How do you feel?”
