He exhales, forehead resting against mine again, and for the first time, the fear doesn’t feel like a warning.
It feels like we’re choosing what we never should have lost all along—our relationship.
Only this time, we’re choosing it without any outside interference.
Hopefully.
34
BUTTERFLY SAVE: PADS DOWN TO BLOCK THE LOWER NET
After Brennan leaves with promises to pick me up later for dinner out, all I can think about is what if this all goes to hell? Shouldn’t I be running as far and fast as I can from him?
The way my heart’s been hurt makes me want one thing.
My girls.
FaceTime rings twice before it connects—three faces popping into a grid like they’ve been waiting.
“Okay,” Christin says immediately, no hello, no preamble. “Your eyes are doing that thing.”
“What thing?” I try to be casual and fail when my voice catches.
“The thing where you’re pretending you’re fine,” Emery adds.
“Plus, you’ve got exceptional sex hair,” Maya says, leaning closer to the camera like she can physically reach through it and yank the truth out of me.
I exhale. “I hate you all.”
“No you don’t,” Christin says sweetly. “You love us. Now talk.”
I drop onto my couch, one knee tucked under me. “Brennan and I were together last night.”
In the silence of my statement, I realize none of them are shocked. Nor are they judging. They’re just waiting for more information before they offer me their thoughts.
Emery goes first. “Was it more goodbye sex or something more?”
“Something more. Much more,” I say, heat flooding my cheeks.
Maya’s eyes widen. “I didn’t see that coming. But, if you’re happy, good.”
“I didn’t—” I start, then stop, because I can’t lie to them. “It meant so much.”
Christin’s expression softens. “How do you feel?”
I open my mouth, then close it because the truth is too big for one sentence. “He’s been working on changing—therapy.”
All three of my girls whistle. “Is it proximity?” Christin asks.
“No, it’s effort. Consistent effort. The kind that doesn’t disappear when things get tough.”
Emery nods, her face careful. “What did he do?”
I explain how Brennan, in addition to therapy, has embraced Willow Creek. Helping at the high school by educating the athletes. Finally, I wind down with, “He hasn’t just said he’s going to change. He’s shown me. Every day.”
“How do you really feel about him?” Maya asks.
I focus on the picture of the four of us that sits on a bookshelf. “I want the man today with every part of me. But…”
