There was a pause down the line, followed by a small sob. ‘What am I going to say to him? It was his too.’ She stopped.
‘Kate, it’s not your fault. He’s not going to blame you for having a...’ I couldn’t bring myself to say the word. As if saying it made it more real. Until now, Kate being pregnant had been almost hypothetical.
‘What if it is my fault? I didn’t want a baby and now it’s gone.’ Her voice went up. ‘And now,’ she was crying in earnest, ‘I do.’
My fingers tightened on the phone as I bit my lip at the anguish in her tone.
‘I was going to get rid of... my baby.. . it... I said that. As if my baby was nothing. How could I? Now I’ve been punished for being so... It was my fault. Maybe I shouldn’t have flown back. Air travel can’t be good for pregnancy. What if I never have another chance?’
‘Kate, stop. It wasn’t your fault. These things happen. It’s a cliché, I know, but they do happen, much more often than people realise. There’s some statistic, one in three—’
‘That’s marriages ending in divorce. Not babies,’ wailed Kate.
My shoulders slumped. This conversation was so hard over the phone. I would have done anything to be sitting with her, on the end of her bed, holding her hand.
Trying to distract her, I changed the subject. ‘Do you want me to say anything to the parents?’
‘Noooo!’ she cried. ‘I can’t... No... not Mum. Don’t tell her yet. Wait ’til I’m out of here.’
Finishing the call, I looked at my watch. I was running late but I just didn’t care. Poor Kate. Then again, there was no way I wanted to hang around the flat. After everything that had happened this weekend, work would be a break. Hopefully it would take my mind off everything else.
Last night Daniel had said that he’d wait until I’d left to talk to Emily. No doubt she’d be demob happy and only working minimal hours. Shit. I had to speak to her about that today. It wasn’t her day either.
* * *
As predicted, Emily had decided she would be late in.
‘I’m far too shaken up,’ she explained wearily from the bathroom, where she was busy applying her make-up. ‘You can explain why.’ As if it was entirely my fault.
‘OK,’ I said, dying to ask where Daniel had got to. There was no sign of him and my coat was neatly hung back on its peg as if last night had never happened.
‘What are you doing about the fridge?’
My immediate thought was ‘not a lot’.
‘Don’t think I’m going anywhere near it,’ she announced, tossing her head, mascara wand in hand. ‘Daniel’s had to go out to buy a pint of milk. Yesterday’s smelt funny.’
I replied resignedly that I would sort it out. PC Carpenter’s view was that the smell would take a while to get rid of. He had to be joking, there was no way I was cleaning out that fridge. I hadevery intention buying a new one today, that’s what credit cards were for.
There was something I could do about the fridge in the meantime.
As soon as Daniel came back from the corner shop, I asked him very loudly so that it was all above board in front of Emily, to help me move it out onto the fire escape.
‘Come on, then,’ he said, discarding his jacket and putting his shoulder against the fridge to heave it towards the door. I paused as Emily appeared in the doorway, although he couldn’t see her.
‘Come on. No slacking,’ he admonished. ‘Your mission, should you choose to accept...’ He broke into theMission Impossibletune. I caught Emily’s eye. She was stony faced, her mouth curved downwards in a crescent of disapproval as she stood watching our antics.
I couldn’t stop myself giggling. Daniel was wearing a tea-towel mask and darting around the room, arms flailing as he made random karate chops in the air. With slow motion care, he opened the back door, poking his head in and out several times, before pulling lots of faces to show me that all was clear.
‘Why don’t you grow up?’ tutted Emily, her lips pursed as she directed her narrowed eyes at me, making it clear we were about as funny as a pair of nine-year-olds on laughing gas.
‘Sorry,’ I said meekly, trying hard not to snigger as I caught Daniel pasting a look of mock innocence on his face.
‘Hmph,’ muttered Emily, glaring at me and ignoring Daniel, as she turned to stomp back down the hall. She paused, ‘When will you sort out a new one?’
‘Don’t worry. I’ll get one today.’
‘Good.’
