Arden fanned himself. “Better? You’re lucky I’m not the jealous type. Except that I am. Viciously so.” He paused, squinting at her. “Did you cause the tide to rise with your pleasure? Ifeltsomething shift. I assumed it was indigestion. But now—”
“You’re being—”
“Did he whisper sweet nothings? Or, better yet,filthy somethings?”
She opened her mouth.
“Wait, don’t tell me. There was intense eye contact and handholding while the universe rearranged itself around your shared emotional climax.”
Iris let out a little laugh. “Let’s not get carried away.”
“Carried away? Darling, I have been waiting for this moment since you met. I am half-tempted to book a skywriting witch to spell out ‘Congrats on the orgasms.’”
“Please don’t.”
“Don’t deny me this. I love love. Passion is my passion. Look at you,” he said, sucking in a dramatic breath andsighing it out. “Positively phosphorescent. I bet a pod of dolphins applauded at the end.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“Excuse me. I aminvested. There’s a difference.” His gaze softened. “Don’t try to act like this isn’t the best thing that has happened to this whole situation. You’re glowing, the groom is allegedly competent in bed, and I get the satisfaction of knowing I was right.”
“I think Selene might disagree about it being the best turn of events.”
“Oh, please. Selene is a simp for when the enemies become lovers. She keeps a stash of annotated paperbacks inside a storage closet labeled ‘Plague Fungus Studies.’”
“How do you know that?”
“Gerty the ghost may or may not have let it slip. With a heavy amount of judgment for the numerous explicit scenes where things go inside other things and everyone involved is having a wild time.”
Iris snorted. “Sounds like Gerty needs a hobby.”
“She does. She is silently judging us.” Arden flicked imaginary lint off his sleeve. “Anyway, Selene isn’t a love-hater. She’s scared. That real-life heroes don’t exist. That they won’t get to know her coffee order or remember her birthday. That they can’t make her clutch the sheets and damn near crack their skull with her thighs as they go down on her. And, perhaps most of all, she’s terrified that happily-ever-afters in real life aren’t possible. Someday, someone will show her that her romance novels are inspired by real life, not pure fiction.”
Iris’s head tipped to the side, watching him closely for a moment. “You’ve really given Selene a lot of thought.”
Arden stiffened.
“Excuse me, sweet sea creature, I am merely an astute observer of character. And Selene has that ‘secretly soft, hex-you-but-don’t-tuck-you-in’ energy that demands to be noticed.”
“I don’t know. I think I sense a spark.”
“No spark. I mean, in a purely theoretical, ‘if we were stuck in a cursed tower with only one bed’ way, who knows. But only in theory.”
“Uh-huh.”
Arden shook his head. “You get laid, and now you’re out here trying to hook everyone else up. Anyway,” he sniffed. “Back to you. Have you broken any furniture with your carnal activities yet?”
Iris smiled and laughed her way through his constant—and increasingly absurd—sex questions through the bathroom door as she stripped, put on the nipple stickers, and then the cover-up, before stepping out.
“Be still, my heart,” Arden said. His hand went to where his heart should have been. “Where is that bird of yours? He would have a lot to say about you looking paparazzi-ready. But for you and your lady business, let’s hope your man has arranged a very private venue so the two of you can commune carnally without violating public decency or accidentally awakening a dormant sea god. Ah,” he said when there was a knock on the door. “I believe that is your ride.”
Sure enough, there was a driver on the other side of the door, so the two of them followed him down to the street, where the driver waited beside a black car.
“I’m so happy for you and not at all jealous.”
“You should go and see Selene,” Iris said. “See if she wants to hang out. And maybe make some … spicy magic.”
“Enough, you,” Arden said, poking her in the nose. “Have a shamefully sexy time.”
