“Jack,” I breathed out, the name bringing forth memories I had long buried. “Is it really you?”
His gaze met mine and for a moment, time seemed to stand still. “It’s good to see you, Sara. I was worried you might have moved on.”
I shook my head. “Me? Never. I’m right here where I’ve always been.” The words slipped out before I could stop them, more sincere than I intended them to be.
He gave me a crooked smile and looked me over from head to toe. “You look great. How have you been?”
“Okay,” I said. “And you?”
He looked away, as though gathering his thoughts. “I’m…better. It took me a while to figure things out, but I’ve made peace with it all now.”
I took a few tentative steps forward, stopping just a few feet away from him. “Where did you go?”
“I’ve been all over,” he replied, his gaze lost in the distant mountains. “I’ve seen the sun rise over the Grand Canyon, felt the salt spray on the Oregon coast. But none of it felt like home.”
Home. The word lingered in the air.
“And what does feel like home?”
Jack turned to me, his lips drawn tight. “This. You.” His voice was soft, almost a whisper, but it burned inside me like a wildfire. But I was determined not to fall for his charm again. I’d been burned too many times, and I couldn’t afford the risk. “So, what brings you by?” I asked as I brushed past him and into the house.
“I was hoping we could talk. I have a lot of things I need to say to you.”
I turned to face him, leaning against the kitchen counter. “Fine,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. “Talk.”
For a moment, Jack just stood there, perhaps unsure of what to say. “I’m sorry, Sara,” he said finally, his voice heavy with emotion. “For everything. For leaving you like I did, for not letting you in, for pushing you away when all you ever did was try to help me. I was so lost in my own pain that I failed to see the one person who still believed in me.”
I swallowed hard, my mouth suddenly dry. I had to remind myself that this was Jack, the same man who had left me heartbroken and alone. “Six years is a long time, Jack. You could have called…or written. You could have given me something to hold onto.”
“I know,” he replied, his face a picture of regret. “One of the many mistakes I’ve made that I wish I could take back.” He shifted his gaze to the open window, where the late afternoon sun was slowly sinking behind the distant hills. “I’ve started writing again,” he said, changing the subject. “My doctor suggested it, said it might help me process…everything. And it has, to an extent. Putting words to emotions I didn't even know I was feeling has helped me make sense of the chaos in my mind. I’m thinking of trying my hand at a novel soon.”
I blinked at him, not sure what to make of this revelation. “That’s good, Jack. You always enjoyed putting pen to paper.”
He nodded, a sad smile playing on his lips. “I know I don’t have the right to ask you for another chance, but I’m going to anyway. Your friendship means more to me than you know, and if there was any way I could go back in time and take it all back, I would.”
I felt a pull in my chest, a yearning for the past. But I knew the past was just that, the past. “Jack, I appreciate you being honest with me, but it’s not that simple. You can’t just walk back into my life after five years and expect me to forget everything that happened. You say you’ve changed, well, so have I. I’m not about to get dragged back into the whirlwind I’ve spent half a decade escaping.”
His eyes glossed over with resignation.
“Look, I’m glad you’re home and that you’re better. But I would prefer if we kept our distance. I’ve built a career for myself here, Jack. I’ve grown, both personally and professionally. I can’t let that crumble on the whim of a man who couldn’t valuemy affection when he had it.” My voice was steady now, the words flowing out with an ease that surprised even me. “Besides that, my mother is ill, and I can’t afford to let myself get tangled in emotional turmoil again. I need to be strong for her.”
“I understand. And I’m genuinely sorry...about your mother...about everything.” He backed toward the door. “It was nice seeing you again, Sara. I wish you all the happiness you deserve.”
When he was gone, I sat down on the porch steps, letting the cool breeze touch my face. I took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the rain from the earlier storm, and I thought about what I said. For the first time in my life, I had stayed true to myself. No longer was I the timid girl, living in the shadow of Jack’s charisma. I was a woman now, who had found strength and resilience in her own solitude. I had weathered the storm of heartbreak and come out stronger on the other side.
17
Present
“What madeyou stay after Jack left? Why not pack your things and leave, start a new life somewhere?”
I looked at Diane, then out toward the beach that I had come to love so much. “Sims Chapel was my home. My roots were there, my memories. Not to mention, my mother. I couldn’t leave behind what was a core part of me. Besides, when Jack left, I was convinced he was gone for good. So I saw no need to run.”
Diane nodded, her expression thoughtful. “And out of all the men you dated, there was never one who made you want to settle down?”
I laughed a little at the question. “Oh, there were a couple, but they weren’t Jack. And perhaps that was the problem. I realized that I was comparing everyone to a man who didn’t deserve to be the standard. Jack was a mirage, an illusion of love that had evaporated with time and distance. As much as it pained me to admit, I was holding on to the ghost of a man who had broken my heart, not once, but twice. A man who wassupposed to be the love of my life but acted more like an anchor, dragging me to the depths of despair.”
I studied my hands, gnarled with age, and thought about how much they had seen, how much they had done. These hands had planted seeds and harvested crops, cooked meals and mended clothes, rendered decisions that impacted lives and changed destinies. They had wiped away tears of despair and joy alike. They were the physical testament of my life—a life that was so much more than just Jack.
