September 10, 1951
Six months down, eighteen to go. Who knew two years was such a long time? I’m trying my best to remain strong, but at times I doubt my resolve. Maybe I’m not as strong as I thought. But Jack has been true to his word and writes often, so for him, I’ll press on. Mother says I’m a fool for waiting when there are plenty of eligible young men at school. Marjorie says the same thing. Part of me hates them for saying such things. What do they know anyway?
December 24, 1951
Christmas Eve. Everyone keeps asking what I want for Christmas. But what I want can’t be purchased at a department store. My only wish is to have Jack here with me. His letters keep coming but his tone has changed. Maybe the separation is taking its toll on him as well. Not much has changed here on the home front. School continues, and despite having friends, I find myself feeling increasingly isolated, withdrawn, finding little enjoyment in life. I don’t know how much longer I can do this.
May 3, 1952
I’ve come to a crossroads. I’m reluctant to write these words for fear of where it will lead. This is terrible to say, but my memory of Jack has started to fade. Part of me feels as if I’ve lost him. God, forgive me for thinking such things.
Finally, she came to the entry she’d been dreading—a copy of the Dear John she’d written Jack. She drew a breath and braced herself.
Dear Jack,
This is without question the hardest letter I’ve ever had to write. Are you sitting down? If not, you should be.
By now, you’ve probably guessed the nature of this letter is an unpleasant one. Since we’ve always been honest with each other, I’ll get right to it. Once upon a time, you and I enjoyed a magical summer beneath the stars; a summer I will never forget. And it was during that summer that we fell in love for the first time, kissed for the first time, and made love for the first time. Those are memories that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. But all that feels like a lifetime ago, and so much has happened since then. I’ve changed, and undoubtedly so have you.
I guess what I’m trying to say is I can’t do this anymore. I know I said I’d wait, but that’s a promise I can no longer keep. Perhaps you’re stronger than me, but the separation is simply too much. And though it breaks my heart to do so, for me to survive, I need to let you go. Despite my decision, I want you to know that I still love you, and I suppose a part of me always will.
I know this is hard. After reading these words, you’ll likely hate me, but I can only hope that someday you will understand. In the meantime, I will take with me the memories we made that summer and cherish them forever. I only hope you can do the same.
Sincerely,
Ellie
Ellie buried her face in her hands and wept, wishing she could go back. When her tears relented, she took the memory box and crawled into bed. Less than an hour later, she was awakened by the sound of the phone ringing.
“H-Hello.”
“Hey, it’s me. Are you getting ready?”
Ellie glanced at the clock—five thirty. “Ready for what?”
“Tell me you’re joking,” said Zora.
Suddenly, Ellie remembered the blind date she had agreed to. “Ugh. Zora, listen—”
“Let me guess. You’re not going to make it, are you?”
“I’m sorry, Zora. Truly, I am. It’s just…” She glimpsed the memories scattered on the floor. “I’m kind of in the middle of something. Cover for me, will you?”
Zora sighed into the phone. “I always do, don’t I?”
CHAPTERNINETEEN
Cold Shoulder
When Ellie showed up for work Monday morning, Zora was waiting for her outside her office.
“What’s with you?” Ellie asked, noticing the sour look on her face. When Zora didn’t answer, Ellie pushed her way inside and flicked on the light. “Like I told you over the phone, I’m sorry, but I’ve got a lot on my mind right now. Maybe when things settle down, I can meet Bill for drinks.”
“Too late,” said Zora. “He was understanding about Saturday night but said if this is any indication of what it’s like to date you, he’s not interested. Congratulations, Ellie. You scared another one away.”
In a way, Ellie was relived. Maybe now Zora would stop trying to set her up.
“You know, I don’t get you. God knows I try to be a good friend to you. I go out of my way to find decent guys I think would be a great match for you, make you happy, but all I get in return are excuses and broken promises. I’m starting to think you want to be alone.”
