Samuel stood there, silent and firm, and Phoebe couldn’t bear to look at him and see the relief in his gaze. To be free of the bungling wife who had caused him naught but megrims.
“On our wedding day, you demanded frankness,” he finally said.
The comment caught Phoebe unawares, her gaze lifting to his as her breath faltered at the heat in his eyes. Something in hershifted, swift and disquieting, and for a moment she could do nothing but stand where she was, trapped between recognition and uncertainty. She reached for the words to identify the feeling, but her pulse quickened, leaving her lightheaded and unsteady.
Samuel seemed to be waiting for something, but her tongue was stuck fast, leaving her mute. So, she nodded.
“Then I demand frankness now,” he said, his voice as hard as the ground at their feet. “Do you wish to leave?”
The answer came quick to her lips—and halted. Did she? It was the best course forward. After suffering this travesty of a marriage for so long, Samuel had earned a bit of peace.
But could she shake the dust from her feet and leave Kingsmere in her past? The thought made her stomach sour. The place was infuriating, full of frustrating people who made her work in the parish all the more difficult.
And Mrs. Broad. And her students. And the Coulters. And the Miles, the Harveys, the Pattersons, and so many more who made all those efforts rewarding. Life in Kingsmere would not be simple or easy, but it presented a challenge she was only now just learning to navigate—
“Doyouwish to leave?” he repeated.
“No.”
Samuel nodded at that. “Do you wish to leaveme?”
“No.” The answer came far quicker than Phoebe would’ve imagined a few months prior, but then, the man was like the village—complicated, infuriating, and wonderful all at once. “But it is not a matter of what I wish. What do you desire?”
A silent scoff pulled at his lips, his brow furrowing as though certain her wits had failed her.
“I want you. I have from the beginning.” Pausing, Samuel considered that. “Or almost the very beginning.”
“No, you have not,” she said, setting her fists on her hips.
Crossing his arms, Samuel frowned. “Marriage wasn’t my choice, but of all the brides I considered, you were the only one I wanted.”
Scoffing, Phoebe stepped around him, but her attempt to storm away was stopped when he grabbed her hand.
“I am not going to stand here in the cold and listen to you spout nonsense,” she said, though he refused to release her.
“You demanded honesty between us, and I will admit that my experience has taught me to hide rather than confront, but I have always been honest—”
“And condemning and cold.”
Samuel gave that a considering nod. “As have you, and I accept that I haven’t been a perfect example of husbandly kindness, but I have never lied to you. I will admit that pity played a part in my choice, and it pleased me to know you would benefit from the arrangement, but that was not all. When I met you in Haverford, I admired your confidence and humor, and I believed we could be friends. Once you set aside your blatant disgust, that is.”
Searching his face, Phoebe was certain she’d misheard him or misunderstood his meaning (heaven knows she’d done plenty of both), but there was no laughter in his expression, no indulgent placation. What she found instead was something plain and unvarnished, displayed without apology. The steadiness of it unsettled her far more than his anger.
“I was terrible to you in Haverford,” she said, gaping. “I mocked you relentlessly.”
“But you did so with great spirit and wit.”
Tucking his hands behind him, Samuel gave her a half-smile. “And yes, your blunt manners have caused me trouble, but I was right: you have become my dearest friend. Problems may follow in your wake, but you’ve also done so much to improve my life and that of my parish. Why would I wish you gone simplybecause you are imperfect? Especially as I insist on flaunting my own flaws.”
Stepping closer, Samuel’s voice lowered. “Now, Mrs. Phoebe Godwin. I will admit that you frustrate me more than I thought any woman could, but you make me happier than I ever thought possible. You are stubborn and far too slow to abandon your opinions once formed, but your humility and thoughtfulness are staggering. You stir up problems, but your strength steadies me, allowing me to overcome anything that comes our way.”
A heavy sigh escaped his lips. “I cannot decide if this is love or simply the possibility of it, but the thought of you leaving me makes me so unhappy that I am ready to lock you away so you cannot follow through with this foolhardy plan of yours to save me from yourself. I want you in my life—”
Before Phoebe knew what she was about, she kissed him. One moment, she stood before him as his declaration reverberated through her, tangling her thoughts and heart into a hopeless mess. The next, she leapt into his arms, and the cold air vanished, replaced by the solid and unmistakable warmth of him.
Samuel stiffened in surprise, but it was followed by a low sound that she felt more than heard as his hands came around her. Phoebe had no sense of time. Only the closeness of him, the firmness of his hold, and the way the world narrowed until there was nothing but their shared breath and the quiet thrill of being wanted.
Tangled together, they fought off the chill, and whatever questions still awaited them were held at bay, eclipsed by this wordless understanding. For now, it was enough to stay exactly where they were, and neither of them was inclined to let go.
