“If you are going to make this difficult—”
Silas held up his hands. “I am teasing, Ruth.”
But the lady frowned. “You like to do that far more than you should.”
“A complaint your sister shared with me many times, but there is no helping matters.”
Ruth narrowed her gaze, studying him. “You are twitting me again.”
“I did say there was no helping matters.” This time, he gave her a wide smile to erase any doubt about the jest behind his words.
With a sigh and shake of her head, Ruth’s posture eased. “I haven’t been fair to you, Silas. I’ve been so angry for so long, and I do not know when it started. I just wanted so much better for my sister—” She stopped with a wince. “I don’t mean to insult you. I only mean that I wanted so much more for Deborah than a marriage of necessity.”
Silas nodded. “I did, too. We both deserved better.”
“I never thought about how much you sacrificed for her or how much you suffered, and I fear I allowed Deborah’s pain to color my opinion of you and—” But she paused again with another shake of her head. “But I ought not to make excuses.”
“We both behaved badly during our marriage, Ruth.” Silas only wished he’d been able to say such things to Deborah while she was alive.
“And you both deserve the blame for that, Deborah included,” she whispered, her brows pinching tight together. “But I deserve the blame for holding onto that hurt and allowing it to fester after she passed. I didn’t even realize what I was doing or why until Miss Delmonte explained it to you.”
Silas opened his mouth to say something, but Ruth held out her hand. “I was too startled and upended to accept your hand of friendship when you offered it, but I wish to accept it now.” Ruth cleared her throat, her voice wobbling as she continued. “For the sake of the children, if nothing else, might we begin again?”
Silas stepped forward and took her hand in his. “I would like nothing better than that, Ruth. I never thanked you properly for all you did while I was gone. You are the link to their mother, and I want the children to have that.”
Ruth’s chin trembled, and she nodded, dipping her head with a furtive wipe at her eyes. “I do as well.”
Then with a quick clearing of her throat, she straightened with an impassive expression as though the tears had never arrived. “I will admit Felix is doing well. He told me how much he enjoys working with you.”
Silas gave her a broad smile. “He’s an intelligent lad and doing quite well.”
“Yes, but he needs a proper school or tutor.” Ruth’s expression brooked no refusal, and Silas held back a laugh. Whatever truce they’d struck up, the lady wasn’t going to change entirely, though Silas thought that mightn’t be a bad thing. A man ought to be challenged.
“I have every intention of doing that very thing come Michaelmas. I’ve found a school in Portsmouth that will suit him and allow him to continue his work with me as well.”
Ruth gave a sharp nod. “Good.”
Giving her a slanted smile, Silas bowed again and turned to leave.
“I like your Miss Delmonte,” she said.
Silas halted, turning slowly to stare at Ruth, who watched him with a narrowed and all too knowing look.
“MyMiss Delmonte?” asked Silas.
Ruth waved that aside as though it were nothing but semantics, though Silas highly doubted it had been a slip of the tongue. “Though her outburst that afternoon was unseemly and highly improper for a governess, it was precisely what was needed.”
Tucking his hands in his pockets, Silas nodded as he shifted from foot to foot. “Miss Delmonte is very good to my family.”
Eyes narrowing further, Ruth studied him. “Yes, she is very good to your family. And to you.”
There was too much insinuation in her tone for Silas to ignore, but he did all the same. “She has been a blessing.”
He continued to rock in place, fidgeting with his cuffs and waistcoat as Ruth stared at him, a slow smile creeping across her face.
“Deborah would be shocked if she knew you were pursuing the help—”
“I told you not to call her that,” he said with a scowl.
