Despite his greatest efforts, Mina still doubted him.
Simon brushed a finger across her jaw, drawing her eyes open once more. Her warm brown eyes were rimmed with unshed tears, but it was the bone-deep fear mirrored there that had his heart twisting.
“Why do you think my love is fleeting?” he asked, giving voice to his most pressing question. Surely he had shown her in so many ways that his heart belonged only to her, yet still, she harbored those fears.
Mina flinched and tried to pull free of him, but Simon held firm, repeating his question.
“I watched as you pined for another,” she whispered, and Simon ignored the wrenching pain in his chest; as much as his guilt demanded his attention, his feelings were not the more pressing matter.
Mina raised a hand to rest against his as his thumb caressed her cheek. “And then a miracle happened, and your heart changed, erasing her from existence and embracing me. I don’t doubt your love is real, but what if one morning you wake to find it changed again?”
Holding her gaze, Simon wished there was some token or sign he could give her to prove his constancy. It was impossible for him to love anyone else, for no other woman compared with her. Mina’s eyes shone with the goodness of her soul, and kindness blazed in her heart, giving warmth to his cold life.
“I spent years searching for love, Mina,” he whispered. “I was convinced it existed but didn’t find it until I met you.”
“But she—”
Simon shook his head. “That woman never had my heart. What I feel for you is nothing like that pale imitation of affection I harbored for so long. You say my heart turned suddenly, but it didn’t. I loved you love before I said it, though I did not understand what I felt.”
His throat tightened, and he blinked to keep himself from being overcome by the memories of those dark days.
“I don’t know what assurances I can give, but I do love you, Mina. More than anyone or anything in my life,” he whispered. “It is no fleeting thing. I love you because of who you are, and a world without you is dark and cold.”
Mina’s gaze darted away, her lips twitching as tears spilled down her cheeks. “But I am nothing special.”
“You are to me.”
Closing the distance, Mina pressed her lips to his, and the pressure in his chest eased as he reveled in her affection. Simon could never hope to articulate the feelings in his heart, but they expanded and wrapped around him, filling him with utter joy.
This was his wife. His Mina. His one and only love. A man could ask for no greater gift than to spend a lifetime with her.
*
Mina wondered if Simon understood the power of his touch. The simplest graze and Mina could hardly think straight. Her fingers ran along his jaw, and Simon pulled her closer, as though begging for more of her. But even as her heart pushed her to keep kissing him, she needed to give voice to other feelings longing to be known.
“I am sorry for doubting you, Simon.” Wincing, Mina shook her head. “There are times when I cannot believe you love me, even though you give me so many reasons to trust it. Can you forgive my weakness?”
Simon released her face, bringing his arms around her to hold her close as they leaned against the bed. The cold of the wood seeped through her nightclothes, but she was in no hurry to leave that position.
Pressing a kiss to her head, he murmured, “We are a pair. Both so petrified of losing the other that we behave irrationally, which only feeds into the other’s fear.”
Mina rested her hand on his chest, playing with the edge of his nightshirt collar. “What are we going to do with us?”
“Perhaps we can go back to the beginning and start afresh…” Simon’s voice trailed off, his hold on her tightening. “But I suppose I did not fare so well when we first spoke, either. Why did you agree to marry me in the first place?”
Lifting her head, Mina met his puzzled gaze, his eyes asking for an answer he could not work out himself. She gave him a teasing smile and said, “I was a touch desperate.”
A jest at such a time was a gamble, but luckily, Simon chuckled, turning a wry smile inward.
Mina clutched his robe’s lapel, pulling his attention to her, and she answered honestly, “It wasn’t the best of starts, but I do find it humorous now.”
Her husband grunted and did not seem amused at all. “My obtuseness knows no bounds.”
“No more of that, sir. I think it time for a negotiation, so to speak. We both had expectations coming into this marriage, and none of them have unfolded as we hoped, but it was because we were not honest with one another. Not truly.”
Straightening, Mina turned to face him directly and took his hand in hers. “Simon, if you promise to be free with your thoughts and feelings, then I promise I will do the same. I will no longer hide what is bothering me.”
“I am utterly rotten at guessing your thoughts,” he replied with a sad smile.
