After a while, she drew away, suddenly shy, and mumbled that she needed to get back to work. He nodded, then helped her to her feet, and they walked back through the trees, the only sound the falling rain. When they reached the storage building, she stopped, and he openedthe door for her. She stepped inside, out of the rain, and he gave her an encouraging smile, then she watched him walk away.
No one was inside the building, and she was glad of it. For the next two hours, she counted and sorted the inventory into orderly piles. She lost herself in the work, leaving no room in her mind for murderous submarines or lost friends. Eventually, the smell of supper carried through the air, but she couldn’t stomach the thought of eating. Instead, she walked through the camp and passed the mess hall, deciding to go to bed early. When she reached the tent she had shared with Minnie, Lillian, and Hazel for so long, she put her hand on the door and braced herself for what would be missing inside.
Adele had been alone in their tent so many times, but it had never felt this quiet before. Never this empty. In a daze, she floated over to Minnie’s corner of the room and sat on her friend’s cot. Minnie’s bedside table was cluttered with letters, a couple of photos from her family, a half-empty pack of cigarettes, and her lighter. Adele picked it up and flicked the trigger until a little flame sprang to life. Minnie must have forgotten to take it with her, she thought.
Tears filled her eyes again. “I’m sorry I gave you that ticket,” she whispered.
She was distracted by the pitiful sound of a tiny meow, coming from near her toes. She lowered her gaze just as the General hopped onto Minnie’s bed then sat, his little black tail curled around himself. He focused his green, unblinking eyes on Adele and mewed again. It sounded like a question.
“She’s gone,” she told him. “I’m sorry.”
The kitten observed her a quiet moment, as if he was trying to make sense of what she’d said. Then he placed his tiny black paw on Adele’s palm, still watching her. Without a word, she scooped up his warm body and gathered him against her chest, stroking his back as she stared through her tears at the ceiling of the tent.
It’s not your fault, she heard again.You’re going to be all right, Bluebird.
I will try, she promised him.
Tomorrow she would pack up Minnie’s things. She would write to her friend’s mother because that’s what Minnie would have done for her. Then she would keep moving forward, just as he’d said.
An hour later, Hazel and Lillian returned and nudged her awake. She’d fallen asleep on Minnie’s bed, the General in her arms.
“We need a toast,” Lillian said, handing her a glass. In her other hand, she held a bottle of whisky she’d taken from their secret cabinet under the table.
Sitting up, Adele held out her glass while Lillian poured. When the three glasses were full, they all stood and raised them toward each other.
“To Minnie,” Lillian said, the slightest quiver in her voice. She was the toughest of them now. Before it had been Minnie, and now it was Lillian.
“To Minnie,” Hazel whispered. “It won’t be the same without you.”
Adele swallowed back the tide of emotions that threatened, then looked both her friends in the eye, one at a time. “Here’s to Minnie, a wonderful friend, and a wonderful nurse, who inspired me to be a better person. Here’s to smiling when the chips were down, and always looking on the bright side, even after the lights went out.” She paused. “I don’t want to lose that now that we’ve lost her. I want us to make her proud.” She raised her glass a little higher, and they did as well. “Here’s to our friend Minnie, the best of us.”
“The best of us,” the other two agreed, clinking all three glasses together.
The next morning, Nurse Johnson came to see them. “You three were closest to Minnie. You should take some personal time. We have things under control,” she said.
Adele exchanged glances with Hazel and Lillian. “With all due respect, Matron, we would rather do something useful than mope around. That’s what Minnie would do.”
Over the next few days, Adele threw herself into her work, but she had a hard time sitting with her patients. Even Jerry. Because whenever she stopped moving, her mind would wander back to Minnie, and though she had believed him when he said she would be all right, she wasn’t ready for that. So when her shift in the hospital tent was done, she hid away in the supply building, organizing and reorganizing the inventory until Lillian came in and said she had to stop.
But there was another reason she was having trouble sitting with Jerry, and every time she passed his bedside or saw him walking the grounds, she burned with guilt over it. She saw his questioning look, and she knew he didn’t understand why she was avoiding him, but she didn’t know what else to do. It wasn’t fair to him, she knew, but the truth was, she had come to care deeply for Jerry Bailey. Far deeper than she ever imagined she could. Despite the fact that he made her feel more alive than she had in a very long time, and that he had been the one person to make a difference in her despair over Minnie’s death, she wished she had kept her distance. If she had, she would have avoided the pain of losing him, of walking into the hospital tent and seeing another man lying in Jerry’s cot. Because the reality was that his stitches were all healed up, the swelling was gone, the bruises almost entirely faded away. Beneath it all, he had revealed himself to be a strikingly handsome man, dark and quiet, the bones of his face strong despite the fragility of its surface. Frankly, that made it even harder. He would be leaving soon, heading back to the worst of the war zone. She’d probably never see him again. She saw the irony, of course. Just when she should be savouring her dwindling time with him, she was afraid to. She simply couldn’t bear to be hurt again. To lose another part of her heart.
In the morning he caught her eye as she passed the foot of his bed. She wished it wouldn’t, but her face burned at his attention. She stopped and said good morning.
“I hate to ask, but do you think you might have time to give meanother shave?” he asked, rubbing a hand over his cheek. “I’m getting a little scruffy.”
“I can bring you a razor and a mirror,” she offered, feeling awkward.
He smiled, one side of his mouth lifting higher than the other, and she found it painfully endearing.
“Please,” he said. “I’m positive I won’t be able to work my way around all these detours as well as you. I’ll make a mess of my face all over again.”
With a cheeriness she didn’t feel, she went for the shaving kit then returned to his side. She set up her bucket and cloth, then placed a towel across Jerry’s chest, aware of his eyes on her. He seemed to sense that she didn’t want to have a conversation, so he simply sat calmly, waiting. When all was ready, she tilted his chin up and placed the blade against his beard.I will miss you very much, she thought, slowly scraping off the bristle, but she had to push those thoughts away. She couldn’t do her work if her eyes blurred with tears. Not if he was to escape her razor without an extra cut or two.
Dr. Bertrand had done a very good job, considering the mess he’d had to work with, but Jerry’s scars would never completely fade. They cut his cheek into sections and drew a ragged line under his eye then across the bridge of his nose. The path would show when she was no longer around to shave his beard. When he was back out there, facing the guns.
He’d been there before. That’s where he’d come from, after all, when they’d first met. And she reminded herself that even with such a horrible wound, he’d survived. He’d seen men die, and yet he had not. Maybe he would survive again. He wanted to become an accountant. He wanted to take her dancing.
But first, he had to go back. He hadn’t said anything to her about being afraid, or of being shy about people seeing his scars. He was moving forward, just as he’d said. She wished she could be as courageous as he, she thought, but she didn’t know how. As the razor followed the line of his cheek, she briefly looked toward his eyes, which were closed. He wasenjoying her touch. She was giving him the pleasure he needed, and suddenly, she understood.
