It wasn’t as if my bleeding was a secret. Everyone could scent it. Johanna wanted to make sure that the whole pack saw her delivering unto the king the queen that he was promised.
May this girl prove bountiful in all ways, my king,Johanna said with great formality, bowing down before him.
Everyone else in the cavern followed suit.
I stood there before him, not sure what the hellIwas supposed to do.
Ty only looked at me, the biggest wolf I’d ever seen, and accepted me with a regal nod, letting me curl up there beside him for the rest of the night. It was an act of kindness I didn’t have to entirely understand to appreciate.
Later that night, when the fires were low and there were the usual intimate noises in the shadows and snores from the couches, he woke me up from where I was dozing in his sleeping furs. Then he led me out of the grand cavern and back into the cave system, taking me down twisting, cold corridors until we reached his personal den.
Once there, he shifted into his human form and told me to do the same.
I remember sitting there before him in the outer room, perched on the edge of an armchair that smelled of him. I had only a rudimentary understanding of what was expected of me. My mother had pinched me and told me tosubmit. My aunts hadn’t met my gaze when they’d told me that it wouldn’t last long and I’d get used to it.
I could tell that they were all lying. I felt stretched thin and precarious over the top of some gaping abyss that everyone knew the contours of except me.
All I could do was sit there before Ty, who was looking down at me from his great height, and tell myself that I had to do all of those things—whatever they meant—and whatever else he asked of me too. Because everyone in my family had urged me not to embarrass them. To honor the family name.
Whatever the hell that was supposed to mean.
Ty only studied me for a moment, then made me hot chocolate.
We sat there in his living room like this was something we did all the time. It didn’t feel out of character or strange to me. His den was tidy, smelling of him and the night and other good things. It lulled me the way his furs had, but then again, I’d never been afraid of him.
Do you know why they gave you to me tonight?he asked.
I hedged.I think so.
You’ve seen mating before.That wasn’t a question. We were part of a wolf pack. There were no secrets, no shame. The only thing that had changed recently was that I’d begun to feel ...thingswhen I heard the noises. Or saw couples in the alcoves.
The reason that our ancestors did things the way they did is that they expected to die sooner,Ty told me.They had no time to waste. But I don’t intend to die for the next few hundred years or so. No matter what people might tell you, Maddox, there’s no need foryouto worry about anything until you’re ready.
I frowned at my hot chocolate and he saw it. Then he growled until I looked up.
You don’t have to be afraid of me. You can tell me anything.
You’re supposed to ... want me,I told him. As awkward as I was serious.That’s what everyone said. That you were supposed to want me, and I was supposed to let you, and that would honor ... everybody.
I could see his mouth curl a little, under that beard. I remember thinking his dark gaze was like a tractor beam. I couldn’t seem to do anything but stare back at him, until and unless he looked away. I had no control over it.
I do want you,he told me. Kindly.
That’s what I remember the most. He told me that so very kindly. Ty, the rough-and-tumble outlaw king, was going out of his way to be careful with the feelings of a thirteen-year-old girl.
You do?
I do.He nodded at the mug I was holding.Finish your hot chocolate. You don’t need to worry about your honor. We’re fine. You come to me when you’re ready, Maddox. Not a minute before, no matter what anyone says.
What if ... I don’t know what it means to be ready?
You will.
Then we sat there in what seemed to be a delightfully companionable silence until I was done with the hot chocolate. But when I went to leave, I turned back, struck by something.
My mother. She’s going to need—
You can tell your mother this,Ty replied, his voice stern.Her and anyone else. I’m a king. I want a queen, not a kid. And if they have anything else to say on the subject they can bring it up with me.
