“Ava reserved a room for you upstairs. It’d be best if we plan this somewhere not so open,” Hart said.
I was still unsure what our future held, but my track record with the Feared wasn’t great. Their repeated attempts to kill me in an effort to stop the distribution of adamas had been a decent plan, but it was a sore spot in my relationship with them. If they were here, Serena’s warning made sense, and in that case, nowhere was safer than with Hart.
“Can I stay in your apartment?” The words were out before I could second-guess them.
He studied me, as if searching for the motivation behind the question. I wished him luck. All I knew was that I felt safer—sturdier, like the ground wouldn’t shift beneath my feet—when I was with him.
He nodded and took my hand as I hopped from the stool. “Let’s go.”
25
You're capable of anything you put your mind to. I believe that.
— ALARIC SARE’S PAPERS FOR EMBERLINE ARKOVA
My heart raced with each step we took up the staircase. Hart wrapped his hand tightly around mine, and I had no desire for him to release it—even though the last time I’d been in his apartment, things had been very different.
Then, we’d failed to save Charon due to Soren’s attack in the woods. I had just chosen to be Chaos’s Champion. And I had just kissed Hart in an attempt to save his life.
Somehow, even with all of that, being with him had felt simple. For the first time, I had hope that maybethey could be again.
But he was right, we needed to talk … about everything. He twisted the knob, and I followed him into the apartment. It looked no different, down to the coffee mug that had been on the counter when I left. I realized Hart hadn’t occupied this space since I had.
With a brief squeeze, he dropped my hand and walked toward the kitchen. The living space was completely open, with a small stove and counter on one side and a low couch and table on the other. Books were stacked on most available surfaces. Moonlight granted us visibility through the windows, but he quickly lit a few candles.
The hallway between the two spaces pulled my focus. His bedroom was back there. His bed.
My mind replayed our night here faster than I could shut it down. Words spilled from my lips before I could question if they were the right ones. “You said you didn’t take from me.” I cleared my throat, realizing the topic I’d broached. “When we were together.”
He turned from putting the matches back in the drawer and faced me. “I didn’t.”
I nodded. I believed him. Even when I’d challenged him to take from me at Scarlett’s hoard, he appeared to attempt some shift to do so. “You can decide when you want to take?” It shouldn’t be such a strange question, but I’d truly never seen a Blessed touch a human’s skin without taking. The idea that someone could touch and not take was, unfortunately, novel.
“I couldn’t at the beginning, as I said. Twice, you surprised me. First when I didn’t know who you were, and second when you reached for me in the adamas cavern. But once I knew what to prepare for, I could decide whether or not to allow it.”
Everything about this man screamed discipline. Even as a prince, his drive and determination had been enough to catch Themis’s eye. That he applied that control to me, that his verybody seemed to vibrate with restraint now, as we stood across the room from each other … well, it intrigued me.
Chaos save me.
I shook my head. “But you … did you feel…” I didn’t actually know what it was. I searched for a word. “The connection between us then?”
Something smoky flavored my tongue, and I didn’t think too hard about what caused it as his forest green eyes held mine. Just the thought of that night stoked his lust. The heat of his attention seared me, and warmth stirred low in my belly as he replied, “I did.”
“What was it?” I took a step toward him.
My confidence faltered as he placed a chair between us, his fingers curling tightly around the high wooden back. His dark chocolate strands fell around his face as he dropped his head. “I don’t know any more than you do.”
He was misguided if he thought I didn’t see his response for the hedge it was. “But you have a suspicion?”
“I have a guess. And I’ll share it with you, but you need to know I’m only guessing.”
I nodded and took another step toward him. He hesitated briefly, studying my slow progress to close the gap between us before he spoke. “The goddesses’ game is based on their Champions’ fighting. That’s the whole purpose. Two heroes vying to rule a kingdom. That night…” He sighed and glanced away. “That night you chose Eris, but you chose me, too.”
Silence fell heavy around us. When we first entered the apartment, the dull roar from below had risen through the floorboards; glasses clinking, patrons shouting boisterously, and the raucous sound that was Forest’s Edge had stirred the empty space, but now, everything except his words fell away.
Finally, I realized what a waste of time it was to try to hide things from him. Hadn’t this been tangled up in mydeepest sadness? That I’d chosen him—my first decision for myself—and he’d betrayed me. He’d let me down. From the pain etched in his features, I would say he’d known that fact longer than I expected. It occurred to me that the reason I had lov?—
I choked around the unfinished thought.
