Not while this heavy disappointment threatens to crush my lungs, bones, and mind.
I wish I never fucking came here...
God, this isinsanity. We justmet! She wasn’t wrong about that and while I could get on board with the premise and force my heart to slow the fuck down, there’s no denying we want completely different things.
We’ll never work. Not how I want.
I need space. Time to clear my head. Time to take apart those feelings converging inside me before it’s too late.
Maybe it already is, but it’s worth a try. The yacht’s huge. There’s a library, a cinema room, arcades, swimming pools, even a gym. I change into swim shorts and a t-shirt, my mind set on hiding away on the third deck.
I open the door and almost tackle a waiter to the ground. He ducks at the last moment, saving the tray of food from tumbling to the floor.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t expect anyone here,” I say.
“No problem. Miss Audrey thought you might be hungry. Were you on your way to join the others? Should I take this back to the table for you?”
“No, it’s fine.” I grab the tray. “Thank you.”
If he’s wondering what I’m up to, he doesn’t let it show, bowing slightly as he walks away. Food, no matter how appetizing, is the last thing on my mind. I doubt I’d stomach one bite, so I leave the tray on the breakfast bar and head out, changing my mind about the swim before I reach the elevator.
Since I’m seriously lacking endorphins, and working out always gets them flowing, I hit the gym.
I start with weights, and once my arms get too weak, I move to the treadmill. Addie’s in my head no matter how hard I push her out, so after two hours, I lock myself in the steam sauna before taking a cold shower.
None of which distracts me. Physically, I’m beat, but my mind’s going a million miles an hour, imagining everything I won’t have with her.
It’s my head that needs a distraction.
I hit the cinema room, choosing from a huge selection of movies as I settle onto the couch at the back. One of the crew members materializes before the opening credits.
“Can I offer you a drink or any snacks, sir?” he asks, startling the living shit out of me. “My apologies. I should’ve made my presence known before speaking.”
“No, it’s... it’s fine,” I say, calming my racing heart. “I didn’t expect anyone to be here.”
“Oh, I wasn’t. I was watching the camera system, saw you enter, and thought I could be of assistance. Glass of whiskey? Popcorn?”
“A bottle of water, if you don’t mind.”
He bobs his head, disappearing behind the personnel-only door. Five minutes later, he wheels in a cart filled with beverages and snacks.
“In case you’re feeling peckish,” he explains, parking it beside me. “Enjoy the movie.”
Maybe if it was porn... though I’d probably imagine Addie andnope.Not going there.
Like all Marvel movies, this one is action-packed and pulls me out of the tumult in my head. Once the end credits roll in, I stay in my seat, pondering the idea of starting another, but one glance at my wristwatch tells me it’s past one in the morning. I should get some sleep ahead of whatever fun-filled task Amara’s planned for tomorrow.
Addie’s probably asleep by now. If I don’t make any noise, I can crash on the couch and avoid questions. Halfway up the stairs, I change my mind and end up on the third deck. Purple lighting illuminates the infinity pool and its adjacent seating areas. There’s a pop-up bar to the left, and the same man who found me in the cinema finds me here.
Looks like they have staff working around the clock.
He sets a bottle of water and a fresh towel on a nearby lounger. The same lounger where Addie came undone, panting my name while I kissed her neck.
I shove the thought aside, wishing I could file my memories of her far, far away and never see them again.
“A glass of whiskey could help with insomnia,” the staff member offers, his tone light.
“One won’t hurt,” I admit.
