THIRTY-ONE
Colt
THE ORANGE GLOWin the distance paints the desert in shades of twilight while the rhythmic bass throbs against my chest, matching the beat of my heart.
My anticipation grows the closer the show gets.
The frenzy of roaring engines, neon lights, music, and people hits me like a wave as I pull into the makeshift parking lot. Despite the crowd, there’s a hollowness inside me, an inexplicable void I’ve never felt here before.
Addie only came with me once, but I feel her absence ten times stronger here than at home. It’s hard to explain, but this part of my life is mine alone. She’s the only person I’ve ever willingly shared this with, and it feels so fucking wrong that she’s not here.
I shake off the memories of her wide eyes, the glint of excitement shining through her nerves as she looked around when we pulled up here two weeks ago.
Stepping out of my car, the desert heat smothers my skin just as a mess of curls and gleaming teeth strides closer. Curly’s smirk is usually contagious, but I’ve not mustered a smile in a week, and I doubt I’ll manage one tonight.
“Ready to show the kids how it’s done?” He claps my shoulder, shaking me from side to side. “We’ve got a group from LA here tonight. First-timers.”
“Good. I need a race.” The words come out more desperate than intended.
Racing isn’t just my hobby. Not just a momentary thrill. It’s a way to drain the maelstrom swirling inside me and feel alive.
Hopefully, tonight, it’ll also be a way to forget.
Curly eyes me for a moment, his smile fading. He’s clever and has known me for years, so he can tell I’m in a foul mood. I didn’t realize it was so obviouswhy, but the way he glances around, searching for Addie, tells me he’s figured it out.
“Got just the guy,” he finally says with a touch of concern. “Kid from down south. Been bragging about his ride all night. How about a ten-grand race to get you started?”
“The sooner, the better.” I flex my fingers, already imagining the leather of the steering wheel under my palms.
Curly disappears into the crowd without another word, off to set up the race. The chaos around me blurs as I lean against the hood, willing my pulse to slow.
I let my gaze wander, drinking in the sight of people laughing, the bright headlights piercing the desert night, the occasional cheer as a car revs its engine.
All these things brought me a sense of belonging not long ago, but tonight they only amplify the emptiness inside.
Curly returns with a kid who barely looks old enough to drive. “Colt, meet Brian. Brian, meet Colt,” he introduces us, his voice easily carrying over the rumbling bass.
“Heard a lot about you, Colt,” Brian drawls, sizing me up, a cocky smirk playing on his thin lips. “Let’s see if the talk lives up to reality.”
Addie would be rolling her eyes big time right now. He sounds like he watchedNeed for Speedone too many times.
“Ready when you are.”
“Alright, then,” Curly booms, summoning everyone’s attention. “Let’s give you all a damn good race!”
The crowd roars, the music surges, and I feel that familiar spark of anticipation. Adrenaline floods my system like a soothing balm for my frayed nerves.
This is exactly what I need. Thirty seconds on the track. A break from my own fucking head.
I slide into the driver’s seat, the faint scent of peaches and sugar like a punch to the gut. There’s still a trace of her here. It gnawed on me the whole way from Newport, but the open windows dealt with the worst of it.
The leather seat creaks under my weight, every little detail triggering a memory. How she braced against the seat, the awe in her eyes, how my heart rocketed when I ran around the hood, worried she’d gone into shock.
God, I miss her.
I grip the steering wheel tightly, my knuckles whitening under pressure. There’s a lump in my throat that won’t go away. I turn the key, and the Challenger roars to life, vibrating beneath me, temporarily silencing my thoughts.
A crowd forms on either side of the track, a sea of indistinguishable faces bathed in the artificial glow of neon lights. Cheers and whistles fade into the background, drowned out by the cacophony in my mind. It breaks above the roar again and all I hear is Addie’s voice screaming in this car with fear and elation, then her laughter when we raced again and again.
