Her grades remained mediocre.When a note of concern came from her math teacher, John relieved her of hercar keys and forbade her to go out that weekend.She simply waited until he’d left, then walked down to Charles Street and was picked up by friends.When he decided, two weekends later, that he didn’t like the term paper she’d written for English, he took the cars keys again, along with the ticket she had for a Saturday night concert in Cambridge.She wasn’t fazed.She hopped on the T and went to a party at Boston University with Robbie.
John was not thrilled with her final report card in June.“This is pathetic,” he said, tossing the incriminating sheet of paper onto the library desk.
Pam had been preparing herself for his anger since she’d learned of the grades several days before.“It was a hard course load.I shouldn’t have taken biology.It took so much of my time that it messed me up for everything else;”
“What messed you up had nothing to do with school.It has to do with that bunch you hang out with.You’re always out.Are the others doing as poorly as you are?”
“My grades aren’t that bad.Really.You knew I was having trouble in math, but that won’t be a problem next year because I’ll be taking geometry, which is a lot easier than algebra.”
“You got a C-minus in history.”
“That’s because the entire grade depends on three tests, and I don’t do well on Mr.Harris’s tests.I listen to what he says and try to psych him out, but I guess wrong every time.”
John wasn’t buying the argument.“If you studied everything he assigned, you’d be ready for the test regardless of what he asked.”
“I do study everything.”
“Don’t you want to do well?”
“Yes.”
“So why aren’t you?If you set your mind to something, you can do it.It’s not so long since I went through school that I don’t remember what it’s like.If you work hard, you do well.”
He didn’t blink.Nor did he seem to be breathing, which was something that always amazed Pam.It was as though he was in such total control of his body that every function was pared down to its most spare and efficient.He was a cold-driving machine.
“The problem,” he went on in distaste, “is that the only thing you’re working hard on is your social life.I think you ought to take biology over at summer school.”
Pam’s stomach knotted.“I can’t go to summer school, John.I’m signed up to go out West.The trip starts in two weeks.”
“They’ll fill in with someone else.”
“But I’ve been looking forward to this trip!I’ve been counting the days till I leave!”
“If you’d spent less time counting and more time studying, you’d have been better off.”
“Please, John.”She’d go mad if she had to hang around Boston all summer, which was her only other choice, since John had told her she couldn’t spend twelve weeks in Maine.“I’ll do anything.I’ll work with a tutor when I get back from the trip, I’ll go for extra help next fall, I’ll come home every afternoon after school to study.I’ll do better, I promise.I mean, like, junior year is the one thatreally counts, anyway, and if I do okay on my SATs, the colleges won’t hold one mark against me.”
“One mark?”
She wasn’t about to bicker.“A few.”
“I’ll have to think about it.”
“Please?”she begged, not caring that she did.She was tired of butting heads with him, tired of losing and being punished and slipping out on the sly.She welcomed the promise of seven weeks away from home.
“I said I’ll think about it.”He handed her the report card.“Take it.It embarrasses me.”
She took the report card and left, knowing from experience that further argument would not help her cause.John was behaving true to form.He would keep her dangling while he made up his mind in his own sweet time, and only when he knew she was suffering.
Indeed, she was suffering.She was furious at him and at herself.With the school year over, her friends had dispersed, so she had no ready diversions.She tried to be available and acquiescent whenever John was at home, but he gave no clue as to which way he was leaning.He was perfectly content to let her swing.
Needing a respite—and unable to help herself, although she doubted it would help her cause—she took off early one afternoon and drove to Timiny Cove.She went to the mountain first to say hello to Simon and the men.When she was certain Cutter had seen her, she left for the stream in the woods.
He joined her there soon after the workday ended.At the sight of his tall frame emerging from the trees, she felt the familiar brightening inside.Grinning, she rosefrom the rock on which she’d been sitting and ran to meet him.
He swept her up and swung her around.When her feet touched ground again, he held her back.“Jeez, do you look grown-up.I wasn’t sure who it was when I first saw you.This is a change from jeans.”
She was wearing a short white skirt, a lavender jersey, and flats, which was what she’d put on that morning when she hadn’t expected to go farther than Beacon Hill.The impulse to leave Boston had been so sudden that she hadn’t thought to change.Given the admiration in Cutter’s eyes, she was glad she hadn’t.
