“Your father was known to be a recluse.”
“He was.Not a social being at all.His mind was so complex that there was an odd simplicity about him.He could be lovable when he tried, but as the years went on, he tried less and less.”
“Why Timiny Cove?”
She had never known the answer to that.“It was out of the mainstream, I suppose.Any rural town would have suited his purpose.He wanted the quiet to work.”
“So the neighbors left you alone.”
“Totally.They never claimed us as their own.They just stood back and stared.Well, I didn’t like being stared at because I was his daughter or her sister, and I didn’t like being a disappointment because I couldn’t keep up with them.So I made up my mind that as soon as I was old enough, I’d leave and make a name for myself.”
“Oliver Cox hasn’t produced anything for a while.”
“No.He’s aged.”But the earlier days were never far from Hillary’s mind.“Do you know what it’s like growing up with brilliant people?I mean, really brilliant people?”
Arlan scratched his head.“Can’t say I do.”
She ignored his comical expression.“It’s awful.They don’t communicate.My father used to sit staring off into space.I could say something, and he wouldn’t hear.Then he’d pick up a pencil and scrawl something on the back of an envelope or a bookmark or a matchbook, and it would be incredibly beautiful, only when I tried to tell him that, he was already off in some other mind-place.”
“His work is highly acclaimed.”
“As rightly it should be.”
“Then you’re not ashamed of him.”
“I was never ashamed.I was just tired of being rated on a scale that was way off the boards to begin with.I didn’t want to be thought brilliant when I wasn’t.I didn’t want to be thought eccentric when I wasn’t.”
“Apparently John St.George didn’t think those things.”
At the mention of John’s name, she took a deep breath.She remembered those early days with John as though they had just been.A sense of visceral excitement rushed back.“No, John didn’t think those things.I met him at a time when I was feeling pretty low.I didn’t fit with my family, and I didn’t fit with the locals.I was biding my time, waiting to escape to college.John was the link that I needed.He was from the outside world.He was as much of a misfit in Timiny Cove as I was.”She smiled.“And you know something?He didn’t care.He didn’t care what the miners or their families thought of him, because he had this other life.And what a life.”She sighed.“I used to ask him about it.I wanted to know everything.I could have listened to him for hours on end.”More quietly, she said, “I idolized John.When we became lovers, I was on cloud nine.He was a cut above anyone I’d ever known.”
“But he was playing with you.”
“Maybe.”
“You knew that he had other women.Didn’t it bother you?”
“I didn’t know it back then.I was seventeen and naive.”
“You didn’t even see him that often.If what you wrote was the truth, he used to come and go from Timiny Cove at will.Did he call you when he was away?”
“No.”
“Write?”
“No.”She rushed on, “But I understood.Really.I adored him, but my dreams weren’t centered around him.”At his skeptical look, she insisted, “They weren’t.Iknew by then that I wanted to be a writer.I used to dream of that.”
“When you were done dreaming of John.What was it you saw in him, Hillie?Was it the polish?The glamour?Given all you know now, it sounds like the guy’s an ogre.What did you see in him?”
She thought about that for a while.What did she see in him?She saw the fire.He had it.He was his father’s son in that sense.Fine, custom-tailored clothes were only a veneer.When the clothes came off, he could be earthy as sin.He tried to temper the passion, but the more he did, the more it built and the more powerful it was when released.Those were the times she liked best, the times when he was an absolute wonder in bed.
She wasn’t about to tell Arlan that, though, so she simply said, “He was alone and different, just like me.That was what probably brought us together in the beginning.Then, when I got to know him, I was taken by his charm.Yes, charm,” she insisted when he looked doubtful.“John was a charmer when he wanted to be.And he was bright in a normal way.I enjoyed being with him.”
That was simplifying the issue, she knew, but using the past tense was getting to her.Glancing at her watch, she said, “I have to run,” and stood.
“Hillie, about this book—”
“I’m going to keep writing.”
