“I figured you’d say that.”
Bob grinned.“Typical shrink talk?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s true, though.Freshman year can be daunting.A bond formed early on with a roommate can go a long way toward easing anxiety.”
Pam shrugged.
“Such enthusiasm,” he chided.When she said nothing to that, he asked, “Are you looking forward to it?”
“Yes and no.”
“Nervous about leaving home?”
His question hit a nerve.Levelly she met his gaze.“I left home a long time ago.There’s nothing for me there.”
“You and John?”
“Nothing.Worse than nothing.If I were the violent type, I’d have stabbed him in his sleep long ago.”
“You don’t really mean that.”
“I do.Do you know what college means to me?It means going far enough from Boston so that he can’t watch me every minute.”
Bob glanced at Patricia, who was staring blandly across the lawn.Returning to Pam, he said, “You’re very angry.”
Pam was grateful for the reminder of her mother’s fragility.Bob was a natural, the kind of man who invoked confidence and encouraged confession.She had poured her heart out to him more than once in the past few months, but never in front of Patricia.It was one thingto share gentle thoughts and mild frustrations, another to share all-out anger.Patricia wasn’t ready for that.
As fate would have it, the physical therapist came across the lawn at that moment.Pam gave Patricia a hug, then stood with her arms hugging her middle while the therapist wheeled her off.
“You really are angry,” Bob said, regarding her closely.
“Yes.”
“It’s right there, just below the surface.Doesn’t take much to bring it up.”
“No.”
“Is it still the abortion?”He was one of the few people she’d told.
“That does it pretty quick.”
“Are you okay?”
“Physically.Other than constantly feeling empty.”
“But the guilt is still there.”
“I keep thinking I should have known what John was up to.I should have fought harder.I let my baby down.And Cutter.”
“Sounds like Cutter let you down.Any word from him yet?”
She shook her head.
“Still miss him?”
“Oh yeah,” she whispered.“And now I’m leaving school.Leaving the city.Leaving thecountry.He won’t be able to reach me.”
