“Oh, pretty girl. What happened?”
She pushes off my chest and tries to squirm away. “You were hurting Mommy, and I couldn’t save her!”
I am shocked. I didn’t realize that she would think that. We were just playing a game. I reign in my racing thoughts and grab her lightly by the chin to steady her. “I wasn’t hurting your mommy, honey. I was playing with her to get her with the flour, is all.” After the silence travels between us, I hold out my hand. “Come on and I’ll show you.” She looks at my hand and shakesher head. I give her a small smile and nod toward the hall. “You can follow me, sweetheart.”
When she spots her mother, she lets me go and runs to her, hugging her around the waist. “Mommy!”
I lean against the door jamb. “See, I told you she was fine.”
Blake looks at me with a confused look. “What’s wrong?”
I shrug. “She thought I hurt you when I chased you down the hall.”
She grasps both sides of Charlie’s face and kisses her forehead. “I’m okay, my love. We were just playing and having fun. I pinky promise.” She holds out her pinky, and they clasp them together.
“Okay, Mommy. I believe you.” Charlie looks over her shoulder at me and gives me a small smile. “Thanks for not hurting my mommy.”
Her words pierce me like knives. Why would she ever need to thank someone for that? “I would never hurt your mother, Charlie, or you for that matter.”
She studies me for a moment to see if I am telling her the truth and then walks toward me and holds out her pinky. “Do you pinky swear?”
I look up at Blake for some help here, but she is just giggling behind her daughter. I stick out my gruff, callused pinky toward this sad little five-year-old and hook it with hers. “I pinky swear it.”
She gives me a serious look and then says, “You can’t break a pinky promise, Mr. Hunter, or bad things will happen to you.”
I nod as she releases my finger.
Then she does something I wasn’t prepared for. She wraps her arms around my neck and squeezes me tightly.
A calmness that I haven’t felt in so long settles over me and breaks down the walls I have spent years building to protect my heart from the pain of loss. I tense at her touch, too terrified to move in any way possible or it might break the calm.
Tears pool in my eyes as the memories of my daughter flash across my mind. Bringing with it a searing pain in my chest.
My little brown hair, green eyed sweet girl, running through the sunflowers on a beautiful summer evening. “Come play with me, Daddy,” she calls, holding out her hand toward me.
“I’m coming, Moo. Don’t you worry.” I scrambled to catch up to her. Almost losing sight of her in the dense flowers, making it hard to see.
Her blond hair bounces to the left of the patch I’m standing in, and I take off in that direction. It feels like I’m running forever, and still I don’t catch up with her. “Moo? Where are you, baby?” I call softly. But my soft calls turn into screams as I feel like she is no longer there.
I wrap my arms around Charlie’s frail body and another memory flashes.
Smoke bellows from the engine of the SUV my ol’ lady and my daughter are still in. It’s flipped over on its side, and there is ablood-curdling scream coming from within. “It’s okay!” I yell as I try to flip the vehicle back on the road. It’s no use; I am not strong enough.
I climb the back of the vehicle so that I can get inside to my family. The heat sears my palms with each step I take until I am on the top. The flames are starting to grow now, but I don’t care about the threat. I don’t care if I die right here. I will get my family out of this vehicle.
Once I reach the top and look down into the cab, I feel nothing. My entire body is numb, and my heart crumbles in my chest.
I let out an agonizing scream as someone attempts to pull me from the vehicle, and suddenly I land on my ass.
“Get her out of there!” I scream. I push at the hands that hold me down, keeping me at a safe distance. “Do you know who you are fucking messing with? Get my baby out of there!”
Tears trail down my face in waves as moment after moment of that horrible night plays through my mind. I squeeze a little tighter around Charlie. No one will ever take her from me again. “You’re hurting me,” she whispers, trying to pull herself from my grasp.
Her voice lands on deaf ears. I’m too hurt to register anything around me. I feel like I’m in a fog that threatens to consume me if I don’t hold onto something. That is, until Blake takes a step toward me, and my eyes flick to hers. Concern is written on her face as she reaches out a hand to her child.
I look down at Charlie, who is giving me a pleading look, and quickly let her go. I do it so fast, I nearly fall on my ass beforerushing out of the room. I go through the house and onto the back porch for some fresh air. I probably just scared that poor kid half to death.
And all she did was fucking hug me. Why am I such a piece of shit?
