"What?"
"That you'll stop carrying pain that was never meant to be yours."
"I don't know if that's possible. No matter how hard we try, we can never stop caring about other people's feelings, especially if those people matter to us. It's part of being human."
She thought about my words for a moment, then added, "This whole situation is so complicated that I don't know what the right thing to do is anymore."
"Then let’s not think about it anymore."
We sat like that for a long time, wrapped in each other and the silence, neither of us wanting to break the spell. Tomorrow would bring whatever it would bring. But tonight, right now, we had this.
"Stay?" she asked softly, and I heard the question behind the question:Don't leave me alone with my fears tonight.
"As long as you need me," I replied, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
Forever, if you'll let me,I thought but didn't say.
CHAPTER 28
Lily
Kyle: Have fun with your family today.
Lily: Have fun at the party today.
Don't forget to keep an eye on Jeremy.
Kyle: Don't worry, I've got everything under control.
Lily: This message doesn't make me feel any calmer.
"I'm soooexcited for everything we have planned today!" I said as I practically bounced into my seat at the table.
Mom had outdone herself with a special Valentine's Day breakfast, with a little bit of everything: French toast, pancakes, fresh fruit, bacon, scrambled eggs, and even a mini lemon tart that looked almost too pretty to eat. The dining room felt warm and festive, exactly what I needed today.
A few weeks ago, I'd convinced myfamily to go on an adventure today, a plan I'd created to keep Leo as far away from Oliver's party as possible. If we spent the entire day at an amusement park on the outskirts of town, exhausting ourselves on roller coasters and walking miles between attractions, Leo would be too tired to even think about making other plans when we got home.
We never managed to get Jeremy to be honest about his feelings for Leo. Kyle’s even convinced that his new friend Jer doesn’t like my brother, so I decided the best way to have some peace of mind was to keep the two of them from seeing each other at all today.
"What time is Brandy arriving?" Mom asked Leo as she set a plate of pancakes in front of him. "I thought she was also having breakfast with us."
"She decided not to come with us in the end," Leo said with a neutral voice. "Her best friend Oliver is having a party, and she doesn't want to miss it."
My stomach dropped. This wasn't part of the plan. He'd invited Brandy so she could keep Leo company, so he wouldn't feel the need to go to the party for anything at all. But apparently, “her great friend Oliver" was more important than spending the day with her boyfriend. I knew she was a bitch, but I didn't realize it was on that level.
"A party? It's weird that you two don't want to go," Dad observed, looking between Leo and me, trying to figure out why we prefer to go on a family trip instead of being with our friends. In my past, I always forced myself to attend school events, go on outings with friends, and go to as many parties as possible. Now I really didn't care much about these events.
Leo was unusually quiet this morning, distracted in a way that made me suspect he and Brandy had argued about today's plans. Had she tried to convince him to skip our family day for the party? That thought made me a little anxious.
"I'm not interested in going to that party," Leo lied to Dad. "I don't think there's anything there for me."
I felt relieved by what he'd just said, even though I didn't entirely believe him, but I decided to go along with it. "I totally agree," I added quickly. "Kyle and I will see each other tomorrow anyway, so that he can enjoy his party with his friends and we can enjoy our day as a family."
My parents exchanged one of those looks, as if they were surprised that their children actually wanted to spend time with them over a school party.
"Well, we're certainly not complaining," Mom said with a warm smile. "It's been too long since we've had a proper family adventure."
Everything was going to be perfect. Everything was under control. Leo would be safely with us all day, miles away from Oliver's house, and by the time we got home tonight, he'd be too exhausted to do anything but collapse into bed.
