"It has everything to do with?—"
He didn't let me finish.
"Do you think just because I'm gay, I automatically have to be in love with my best friend?" Jeremy's voice rose, attracting stares from passing students. "Is this why you, popular straight guys, don't usually hang out with people like me? You come with your prejudices and think you know everything about everyone."
Panic clawed at my chest. This was spiraling out of control. I needed Jeremy to trust me, to confide in me, not turn against me. I grabbed his arm and started pulling him toward the nearest bathroom.
"What the hell are you doing?" Jeremy protested, but I didn't stop until we were through the door.
The universe apparently wasn't done punishing me for my terrible planning, because standing at the sink, washing his hands, was Leo.
My blood ran cold.
"Leo," I said, feeling like I'd been caught red-handed stealing something precious.
He saw how I had Jer grabbed by the arm, practically dragging him into the bathroom, and his neutral expression quickly changed to something harder, more protective. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Leo asked, his gaze moving between Jeremy and me, taking in Jeremy'sflushed face and my obvious panic. "It doesn't look like you two are having a friendly conversation."
This was a disaster. Not only had I offended Jeremy and potentially destroyed any trust he had in me, but now Leo had witnessed me manhandling his best friend. How was I supposed to explain this without sounding like a complete lunatic?
"Don't worry, Leo. It was all a misunderstanding with this jerk, but everything's fine now. Let's go." Jeremy's voice was tight with barely controlled anger.
Leo didn't seem convinced. He crossed his arms, his eyes narrowing as he studied both of us, clearly sensing the tension crackling in the air between Jeremy and me. I stepped back toward the door, trying to salvage what was left of my dignity. "Sorry, Jeremy. We'll talk later."
And I fled like the coward I apparently still was.
As I walked down the hallway, my mind raced. I thought I'd made progress. That Jeremy was finally going to trust me, to open up about his feelings. But instead, I'd managed to offend him, make completely wrong assumptions, and potentially make everything worse.
Everything we thought we knew from the past was basically wrong, and I was starting to feel like knowing what we knew wasn't an advantage at all; it was a handicap. We were operating on assumptions, on half-remembered details, on a version of events that might not even be accurate.
Maybe Jeremy wasn't in love with Leo at all. Perhaps the whole foundation of our plan was built on faulty memories and teenage speculation. And if that was the case, how were we supposed to prevent a tragedy when we didn't even understand what caused it in the firstplace?
For the rest of my day, I tried to remember and review everything that happened that night ten years ago. I tried to see what detail I was missing, what crucial piece of information my teenage brain had failed to register because it seemed unimportant at the time.
But I found myself spinning in circles, replaying the same version of events over and over without gaining any new insight.
We were at a party at Oliver's house. We were all having a good time, drinking alcohol that Oliver had stolen from his father's display case, joking around, pretending we were more grown-up than we actually were. Everything was going well, the kind of unremarkable high school party that would usually be forgotten within a week.
Until Jeremy arrived.
He'd shown up later than everyone else, and he'd gone straight to Leo to fight about something. What had he complained about? I wasn't sure. At the time, it hadn't seemed important, just typical teenage drama that I'd tuned out because I'd been focused on my own fun.
I'd spent years believing it was a jealousy scene over Brandy, assuming that Jeremy was upset about Leo's relationship. But now I knew it wasn't that simple. Leo had tried to calm him down, but Jeremy had pushed him away, his voice rising with each word. Oliver had tried to separate them, playing the role of concerned host, and suggested they talk it over privately.
And that's where the trap happened. The mistake. Everything that ruined the rest of our lives.
But what had actually triggered it? What had Jeremy been so upset about? Why had Oliver been so quick to intervene? And most importantly, why had I never questioned any of this before?
Because you were a self-absorbed teenager who only caredabout your own good time, a voice in my head supplied unhelpfully. Because you didn't think the drama between two guys you barely know was your problem until it became everyone's problem.
Classes ended without me even realizing it, and I found myself walking automatically toward the exit. But Jeremy was waiting for me in front of my locker.
"I think I overreacted," he said as I approached, not giving me a chance to say anything.
"No, I'm sorry. I think I misinterpreted everything. I thought I knew more than I did, and now I know how wrong I was."
"Don't worry, I understand. It's 2015. Everyone assumes things about the LGBTQ+ community as if they know what we feel, but reality isn't like that. I don't blame you; it's the society that conditioned you to think this way. You're just following what everyone always believes."
"Yes, but it's not right. Just because something is socially accepted doesn't make it correct."
