But lying here, feeling the solid warmth of his body against mine, hearing the steady rhythm of his heart, it was getting harder and harder to remember why I was supposed to keep my distance.
"Remember when you forced me to go to the beach for that volunteer trash-picking project to save the planet?" He asked me.
"How could I forget? You complained for hours about me making you get up early on a Sunday."
"I still do."
"Complaining if people wake you up early?"
"Volunteer for beach-picking projects. I've gone further over the years; I plant trees, I hardly use plastic products, and I even divide my trash whenever I can. I'm obsessed with recycling."
"No way. Not even I've done one of those volunteer missions again; that experience wasn't that impactful in my life." I laughed louder than I should have. "Why do you do it?"
"Because I like feeling like I'm doing something good for the world, contributing to making it a little better."
"You know that big corporations are the first ones that should stop harming the planet so that what you do actually works, right?"
"Not necessarily. And now that we're in this situation, I'm realizing that even more. Sometimes, we feel like we're doingminimal things, but the impact on someone else can be greater than we imagine. I think if Jeremy, Leo, and Oliver himself had had someone to talk to, even minimally, we could have avoided a lot."
"You're a hopeless romantic, Kyle, you know that, right?"
"And I thought I was a man without a heart."
He kissed my forehead, and I tried to pretend the gesture didn't affect me at all, that my breath hadn't caught, that my heart wasn't hammering against my ribs. Because admitting how much it affected me meant admitting how much power he still had over me. "Technically, you're not fully a man yet. You'll be fine."
"Thank goodness, I think I still have time to redeem myself and become someone worse. Now that we're in this situation, I have plenty of time to be a scumbag in society."
"Can't wait to see you trying," I answered with a smile on my face.
"Is there anything you miss about your present life right now?" He asked.
I didn't have to think twice before answering. "My friends, Claudette and Marlin." I felt so alone right now without them.
Teenage Lily didn't have any friends; she felt like she didn't need them. She was too independent, sure that once she left school, she would go, and she wanted nothing more than Kyle by her side. I knew better.
"The stalkers?"
I gently punched him in the arm. "Hey! Don't call them that, they're amazing once you get to know them. But yes, I'm talking about them. They're very intense, but they're the only people who understand me in the present. I don't know what I'll do without them if we don't return."
"I know you'll find a way to reconnect with them. Anyone would be lucky to have you in their life." He responded.
"It doesn't count if it's you who says it."
I didn't know what he replied. My exhaustion finally caught up with me, and I fell asleep in his arms, feeling safer than I had in ten years.
CHAPTER 22
Kyle
I couldn't sleepat all that night.
CHAPTER 23
Kyle
Lily: Why did you leave before I got up?
Kyle: I didn't want you to kiss me without brushing my teeth.
