"And why are you so sure?"
"We are here because I tried to talk to you in the first place and didn't want to let you go. We traveled back because I tried to fix things."
She laughed. "So now you are the powerful being that can make impossible things a reality just because you wish it."
"Not like that, but I like to think we mean something beyond a memory." I sighed deeply. She loved me. She truly used to love me, and I ruined it. But I was sure of one thing: love wasn't something that was destroyed overnight. And if there was ever a chance between us, there could be another. I just had to do things right. She didn't say anything else, and I didn't want to press any further.
That was enough for today.
CHAPTER 20
Lily
Talkingto Kyle felt right and wrong at the same time.
Right, because I'd finally been able to tell him some of the things I'd been carrying for ten years, and because part of me was looking forward to spending time with him, even though I didn't want to admit it. For a moment, sitting in that park, I'd felt heard, like my pain finally had a witness who understood how deep it was.
But wrong because he said so many things that made me nostalgic, that made me think about us, about all the plans we would have made if life hadn't been so cruel. And now I felt empty. Hollow. Like screaming into a void that swallowed the sound without giving anything back.
I don't want to think about myself knowing everything that's happening in my family. They need me, and I don't want to put my love and trust in someone else who could potentially fail again.
And to be honest, I was still scared. I didn’t want to feel anything again. I didn’t want to think that I could count on him. I didn’t want even to consider him my friend.
I know he wants to fix everything, that he is not the same person he was when we were kids, but he betrayed me once. How can I be sure he won't do it again? In our old life, I thought I could trust him with anything, and then he chose to believe my brother was capable of murder rather than believe in me.
For that reason, I've been trying to create my own plan without him, just in case things don't go as expected. If I could get Leo and me far enough away from the party, maybe there wouldn't be any need to rely on Kyle for anything at all.
My ex-boyfriend was the only variable I couldn't control in this timeline, because he's always been that unpredictable light in my days. The only person capable of making me act impulsively instead of following my plan.
And I didn't want to give him that power again. I didn't even want to keep thinking about him, mainly because there are more important things to focus on right now.
Like, learning what Brandy really thinks about my brother and if she already knows about Jeremy's feelings towards him.
It's been a little more than two weeks since the accident that brought us back to the past, but I still haven't managed to get my brother to open up to me completely. We're closer than before. I visit his room more regularly now, and we try to keep each other updated on everything, but I still haven't managed to get him to open up completely.
In our present, we are like best friends. He calls me every day, and we update each other's lives. Dad and I go to jail every time we can to visit him.
That's why I feel so frustrated that I can't make any progress now. Going from being complete friends to almost strangers is something no one is prepared to face, especially if one of them doesn't want to be that distant.
And I didn't remember how difficult it was to deal with teenagers.
That's why, today, I was going to try with his lovely girlfriend, Brandy. After all, right now, we were friends.
When the problem happened ten years ago, she decided to cut ties with my family completely, and despite being my friend and my brother's girlfriend, her suffering led her to pretend we never existed. Something that hurt me at the time, but eventually stopped mattering. That's why I hadn't thought about talking to her until now, because I'm trying not to think of all the people who are not part of my life.
But some sacrifices are necessary for the greater good.
After class, I went to Brandy's class and waited for her outside. Students started to walk past me, so I leaned against the wall, checking my phone to look busy.
That's when I felt someone come up behind me, too close, invading my personal space in a way that made my mind scream in panic. "What is the most beautiful woman in school doing here?" Oliver's voice whispered near my ear, freezing me in the process.
I wanted to move, needed to do it, but my body wouldn't cooperate. He was so close our bodies were almost touching. I felt disgusted by his proximity. Every instinct shouted at me to run, but I was paralyzed.
"I'm waiting for my friend," I managed to say, forcing my voice to stay steady because this Oliver was just Kyle's friend. Not a threat. "The real question is, what are you doing here?"
His classroom was quite far from this one, since he was a year ahead of Brandy and my brother.
"Maybe I'm following you," he said casually, reaching out to touch my hair.
