"And why, Waldos? And don't tell me it was a coincidence because I know it wasn't." She then asked.
I smiled. She always could see right through me.
"Part of the reason I came back is because I felt like I wouldn't be at peace with myself until I resolved all the reasons I left, and even though I know it was an extreme move on my part, I knew if I just came back and tried to contactyou, you'd find a way to avoid me at all costs, so I searched for a method to make it harder for you to ignore me."
"And boy, did you pull it off."
I laughed. "And I apologize for that. It really wasn't one of my best ideas, although the outcome was much better than I expected."
Sometimes, the most desperate measures lead to unexpected gifts. I never could have anticipated this, being sent back to our teenage years, getting a genuine second chance to fix what went wrong.
Life rarely allows us to correct our mistakes. We make choices, we live with the consequences, and we move forward as best we can. But here we were, defying all logic and reason, getting to rewrite our story. Although I was hesitant to change everything at first, I know now it's the right thing to do. It felt like both a blessing and a burden, a responsibility I couldn't take lightly. Not just for Lily and Leo, but for my family too. These two weeks with them made me realize how much I could have intervened, and I let it go. I don't want to be the same boy who only focused on himself.
I saw her blush, and I would have given anything to know what she was thinking. I wanted to take her in my arms and kiss her again, but I knew I had to respect her decision, so I looked up at the sky again to avoid her eyes.
That kiss in the kitchen had been selfish, desperate, an attempt to prove something that didn't need proving. It had set us back rather than moving us forward, creating walls rather than tearing them down. If I wanted to earn her trust again, I had to show her I could respect her boundaries, that I understood the difference between wanting something and deserving it.
"You know what the hardest part has been? All these years?" She responded.
I shook my head.
"It wasn't just losing you, or even losing Leo. I was losing faith in my own judgment. I loved you so completely, trusted you so absolutely, that when you chose to believe everyone else over me... it made me question everything. If I could be so wrong about someone I knew so well, how could I ever trust myself to really know anyone again?"
I'd known I'd hurt her, but I hadn't fully understood the depth of the damage. She never gave me the chance to understand her, but I didn't look for a way to get closer to her again until it was too late.
"I spent years wondering what was wrong with me," she continued. "What I'd missed, what signs I'd ignored. I dissected every conversation we'd ever had, looking for clues that you weren't who I thought you were."
"Lily—"
"But you know what I realized eventually?" I turned to her again to face her fully. She was already looking at me, like she was waiting for me. "You were exactly who I thought you were. A good person who made a terrible choice because you were scared. And that's almost worse, because it means anyone can disappoint you. Even the people you love most."
"I don't know how to fix that. I don't know how to give you back your faith in people." But I would give everything in my power to achieve it.
"You can't," she said. "That's something I have to do for myself. But you can stop trying to rush it. Stop trying to prove something and just... be here for me until I feel I can trust you again, even if it takes time. Even if it's not as dramatic as you want it to be."
God, I missed her. These moments. She always had the right answer for everything. How she always tried to act strong and independent, even when she didn't have to.
I know she had given me more than I deserved today, but there was one last question that kept eating at me inside, and,if there was one thing this situation had taught me, it was that every minute was the right time because there was a chance I'd never get it again. Things can change from one moment to another in the blink of an eye.
So I gathered my courage and asked, "Do you think we would have made it? If none of this had happened, if we'd just been two kids in love without all the tragedy. Do you think we would have lasted?"
I don't know how long it took until I finally saw her moving her lips, but my heart seemed to stop for a moment while I waited.
"I don't know. Maybe. We were so young, and you were planning to go away for college. Long distances are hard even without trauma and betrayal, which complicate things."
"But you thought about it. Us having a future together." I pressed. I wanted to know. No. I needed to know that she thought of a future for us at some point. If there were even a slight chance that that could be true, it would be enough for me to try.
"Of course I did. I was a teenager and completely gone for you. I had our whole life planned out." She smiled, and I swore right there that I would do anything to keep that smile on her face. "I was going to follow you to whatever college you chose, or we'd find schools near each other. We'd get married after graduation and maybe wait a few years before having kids. I don't know, I thought about all the things a teenager thinks when she loves someone."
I stayed silent because I didn't know what else to say. I didn't want to think about all the things we could have been and never were because I messed up. I thought she didn't want to hear from me when the accident happened, but listening to her words, I can feel how, despite the fights we had, she always hoped that, at some point, I would come back and support her.
"Why don't you just give up?" Lily pulled me out of my thoughts.
"What do you mean?"
"Even though ten years have passed, you're still focused on having me in your life. And I don't want to disappoint you when you realize I'm no longer the person you used to love."
"Because I already know what a future without you is like, Lily. And I didn't like it. Because if this situation is life saying I could have a second chance, I will take it over and over again. This situation we are in means something, and not just saving everyone else, but us."
