The next day, I arrived at school with a clear idea of what I should do. The familiar halls of Westlake High felt smaller than I remembered, the lockers neglected, the ceiling lower. Everything seemed less intimidating now that I'd lived through college and years in the professional world.
Students milled around me, laughing and talking, completely unaware that I wasn't really one of them anymore. I was a stranger in a familiar body, an imposter playing a role.
I walked quickly to find Lily, scanning the crowds for her blonde hair. If we were stuck here, we needed rules, boundaries. We couldn't just charge ahead, changing everything without considering the consequences. We can't just get revenge, as she said.
But as I turned the corner toward the senior corridors, I bumped into someone. When I looked up, all the air rushed from my lungs.
Oliver Adams.
When we both looked at each other, we were in shock, for different reasons, of course. He was surprised by the collision. But I was paralyzed by memories of what this person would do, of what he would become.
"Sorry, man," he said casually as if he hadn't ruined lives. As if he wouldn't. "How are you? I'm sorry I didn't go to your house last night. I was finishing my homework, and my dad wouldn't let me out."
I didn't know if he said anything else. My mind began to cloud. I couldn't breathe. Couldn't speak. All I could see was that face, pale and still, and everyone around crying over his death.
Before Oliver could say anything else, I ran to the bathroom and threw up, my breakfast burning its way back up my throat. I gripped the sides of the toilet, my whole body shaking.
Everything I planned to do was instantly destroyed.
I couldn't let the past happen again the way it did. I couldn't let things continue like that. Not when I had the power to change it.
For years, I'd fantasized about what would have happened if I had stopped Oliver in time. What would have happened if my friends and I had put a stop to the crazy things he did? But those fantasies were just that, dreams and ideas when one can't sleep or has free time to think about impossible things—no concrete plans to stop a disaster that has not yet happened.
But this Oliver hadn't done anything wrong yet. I had that power that seemed impossible in my fantasies.
I splashed water on my face, trying to calm down. My reflection in the bathroom mirror showed a face I barely recognized, younger, unscarred by grief and time. But my eyes were the same. They held the weight of everything I'd seen, everything I'd lost.
Lily was right. Some things needed to change. We can't let Oliver get away with everything this time. We should stop the bullying, the fight, and the consequences of all our mistakes. And maybe, if everything turned out fine, Lily and I could find our way back to each other without the pain and blame that tore us apart the first time.
The butterfly effect be damned. Some butterflies needed to be crushed before they could cause hurricanes.
When I came out of the bathroom, Lily was by the door, leaning against the wall. Her eyes met mine, understanding what had happened.
"I think I'm ready to talk," she said quietly, "and apparently you are too."
CHAPTER 13
Lily
I was tired of hiding.I was tired of feeling like I couldn't move forward because of a past that was tying me down. And above all, I was tired of pretending that Kyle's presence didn't affect me, that seeing him again hadn't stirred up a decade's worth of unresolved emotions.
The truth was, he had been one of the most important people in my life, my best friend before he became anything else. Seeing him again made me realize that some conversations are too meaningful to leave unfinished, even when they're the hardest ones to have.
Kyle was one of the people I thought would be a part of my life forever. Losing him and my brother at the same time was one of the most painful things I've ever had to face when I was a teenager. So much time had passed, and no one had ever been able to fill the void his absence represented.
Some relationships are too significant to end in silence, even when they can't continue as they once were. And ours deserved a proper ending.
For this reason, when I woke up this morning, I was determined to have the conversation that should have happenedyears ago, not for forgiveness. I wasn’t ready for that yet. But for closure. For that kind of peace that only comes when you finally say all the things that have been weighing on your heart for too long.
If we were stuck in this impossible situation together, the least we could do was find a way to coexist without the constant tension that had been suffocating us. We deserved better than to spend whatever time we had here, drowning in old resentments and unspoken truths.
I didn't know how much time I had left with this second chance in life, and I wanted to make the most of it. I didn't care about the consequences if it meant giving the people I loved another chance.
"Have you seen your brother? How did you feel?" Kyle asked me, leaning against the wall where I was standing next to the bathrooms.
"Of course. I spent the whole weekend following him around the house. He thinks the accident broke something inside me and that I'm crazy. If he knew the truth, he would understand me."
"I don't know how I'll react when I see Leo, knowing that because of me, he will not have the future he thinks he will have now," Kyle lamented.
