"You could come back without disturbing my peace. There are a hundred other tech companies in this city."
"Running away from problems isn't seeking peace; it's simply delaying the inevitable," he said, his voice a little soft. "Did you really think you would get rid of me forever?"
He didn't even try to hide that he came to this company to convince me to talk. Their level of audacity was incredible. So I laughed sarcastically. "That's where you're wrong. Settingboundaries isn't running away. Deciding who gets to be in your life isn't running away, it’s knowing who it’s worth it."
"I never meant to?—"
"It doesn't matter what you meant," I said, my voice steady. "What matters is that when I needed you most, when my brother needed you most, you chose to believe everyone else. You chose the easy path instead of standing with us."
He remained silent, like he didn’t know what to respond, so I took advantage and continued my discourse.
"I don't need closure from you, Kyle. I don't need explanations or apologies. I've made my peace with what happened, and I've moved forward. That doesn't mean I want you in my life."
He got closer slowly until he was in front of me, like he knew I could run at any moment and needed to stop me. But I stayed where I was, firm and decisive in putting a stop to whatever he was trying to do here.
Yet, I felt an almost magical sensation having him so close again. My mind had tried to pretend he didn't exist for so long that having him in front of me felt like a dream.
But I didn't want him to keep disturbing my peace in this place, or anyone in my circle, and I didn't want him to think he still had any power over my life and my decisions. Of course, a part of me still felt I should run and keep hiding, that I had no business being in the kitchen, but my desire to keep watching him crumble under his own words was stronger.
"You can't just pretend nothing happened," he said quietly. "You can't pretend we didn't matter."
"I'm not pretending anything," I replied. "I'm acknowledging exactly what happened. And I'm deciding I don't want to relive the most traumatic moment of my life over and over again."
I could see him struggling to reconcile the words that justcame from my mouth. Good. Let him struggle. Let him see that I wasn't broken by what happened.
"All I'm asking for is a chance to explain," he said finally.
I knew I should feel uncomfortable or nervous about him being so close; he was a complete stranger in my life at this point, but it just didn't feel that way. It felt normal, like no time had passed. Like, despite having someone completely different in front of me, he was still somehow the same, and that worried me.
"And I'm telling you that I don't need your explanations to be at peace. I don't need to revisit the past to move forward. That happened centuries ago, and I've learned to live with it."
My words no longer had the same force as before, and this last sentence was almost a whisper.
I lowered my head and focused on the floor so as not to lose my composure, but he took my chin so I would look into his eyes again. His touch was subtle, yet it stirred a thousand things inside me.
He was quiet for a long time, his eyes never leaving mine. I know I should have left right then, but my body still didn't seem to respond. All I wanted was for us to stay there, staring at each other forever.
"You're right," he said, surprising me. "You don't owe me anything. Not your time, not your forgiveness, not even this conversation."
I hadn't expected that. I'd prepared for defensiveness, for the same old arguments, but not for... this.
"But," he continued, "I want you to know that I'm not the same person I was either. Ten years change a lot. It changed how I see what happened. It changed what I believe. Now I know I made a mistake."
It changed what I believe.
These last words echoed over and over in my head, trying to process them. How many years did I wait for him to realizehis mistake? For him to finally stop believing he did the right thing?
Suddenly, I felt like all the walls I had built and the fortress that had invaded me began to fade away.
Here's the thing about breaking up with someone by blocking them everywhere and refusing to talk to them ever again. A part of you never completely lets that person go. A part of you feels like something's still missing, even if it's just that final conversation that makes you think things are over. Especially if the reason you broke up wasn't a lack of love but a lack of trust.
And a small part of me knew I would always be his. That's why I always tried to avoid him. I knew that if I gave him a chance to explain himself, I'd end up believing his words. And I couldn't. It wouldn't be fair to all those we harmed in the process. I needed to keep my word and be strong.
But then, without warning, and before I could fully process what to do next, Kyle kissed me.
CHAPTER 8
Kyle
