I pulled back and wiped my face, embarrassed that I was falling apart. I never cried, but somehow, I knew I could cry with him. “The lady I told you about last week, Claudette, she died.” I wiped at my face as tears came. “She wasn’t doing well, and I didn’t get over there to check on her enough. Between all my responsibilities, I’m failing everything. Including you. I haven’t been over to see Edith. I’m falling apart.”
He rubbed my back and held onto me. “Number one, you’re not failing me. I’m fine. I realize you’ve got a lot on your plate, and my schedule doesn’t make it easier. You can only do so much, love, and you can’t be everywhere. Unfortunately, people leave us, and we’re left to go on. But I’ve got you.”
I turned my teary eyes on him. “We don’t even have time for sex. And I love sex.”
His smile made me feel better as he kissed the side of my face. “We’re fine. You’re doing the best you can, love. We’ll make it through.”
I wiped my eyes. “I’m sorry I missed your last game.”
He rubbed my back. “It’s okay. How about I run you a bath while I make dinner? You can relax, or cry, or whatever you need to do. I’ll get you a glass of wine.”
I sat back and looked at him. “Don’t leave me.”
Axel’s eyes roamed my face. “Never.”
I wanted to believe him, but with each passing day, things got more complicated. The hockey season was in full swing, and a long road trip was looming. To distract myself from missing him, I became absorbed in my responsibilities, while he spent more time with Heath, and I spent a lot of time studying with Caden. I’d even found myself confiding in him about my insecurities. I had to hope it wouldn’t end in disaster, because trust was difficult for two broken people.
Chapter 32
Axel
We ended another 10-day road trip just before Halloween. I sensed a disconnect from Luca, and I didn’t like it. It felt like I hadn’t seen him in weeks. When I got back to Brooklyn, I took him to bed and showed my boyfriend how much I had missed him. After wringing out a couple of orgasms, I was determined to get some answers. “Are you okay?”
He chuckled, sated and unable to open his eyes. “Are you kidding? Never better.”
I rubbed my right hand up and down his naked back as he sprawled across me. “Are you sure?”
Luca lifted his head to look at me. “I’m fine. Just feeling the stress of getting everything done before the end of the semester. And work is tough right now. Winter in the city is hard on people.”
“What can I do to help?”
His hand found the side of my jaw. “You’re doing it. You’re here when you can, and I know you love me. Don’t worry about me, and concentrate on your team. I’m fine. I promise.”
I pulled his hand away and kissed his palm. “You’ll tell me if something is bothering you.”
His eyes were heavy and full of carnal thoughts. “I will.”
I rolled him over and pressed him into my bed. Naked, skin to skin, I was home with him. I needed to be inside him once more, where all was right with the world. Luca recharged my emotional battery that had been draining for the last ten days. “I need you again,” I whispered. “I haven’t had enough.”
“Have me,” he said, kissing my lips. “I’m all yours.”
Driving through my neighborhood, taking in all the decorations, I thought a holiday with candy and fun might be exactly what Luca needed. When he arrived that evening, he found me standing on the lawn staring at the front of my house. “Hello, love.”
He walked over and stood beside me, confused at my behavior. “Uh, what are you doing?”
I gestured to my house. “Looking at our house.” I dropped that little subliminal suggestion every chance I got. The more I said it, the more he’d get used to the idea. But he ignored me.
“Why? Is there something wrong?”
“All of the neighbors are lit up like Christmas with lights and blow-up things on their lawns. I’m lacking here, and I can’t have that. Even Karlsson has his house lit up. How did we miss this?”
I loved his smile. “Well, we can fix that pretty easily. You can order some stuff from Amazon. Problem solved.”
“No,” I scoffed. “I think we need to embrace the holiday spirit if I’m going to get the most out of my experience. You’ve done this, right?”
“I trick-or-treated a couple of times. What exactly doesembracemean?”
Only a couple of times? “When was the last time? I thought kids did this until they were teenagers.”
