“I know.” I couldn’t look at him. “We have a… complicated arrangement.”
“What does that mean? You have the right to fire him if he’s not taking care of you.”
He was pissing me off a little with his question. Gritting my jaw, I glared at him.
“I’ve been taking care of myself for a long damn time. My fuck ups are mine to own. I don’t need you to step in and tell me how to run my life.”
He glowered as he stepped closer. “Well, someone should! I don’t get you. Why would you purposely allow him to take advantage of you? The guy is probably ripping you off.”
He was probably right, but if I admitted to fucking my agent, it would shatter the illusion that I was a good person. And I needed to hold on to that a bit longer.
“I don’t want to tell you.”
His brow pinched together as he processed my words. “Has he hurt you, Colin?”
I smile sardonically. “No,” I murmured. “I deserve to lose everything he’s taken from me.”
Carson placed his hand over my heart. “Something tells me that’s not true.”
I wish he were correct, but he wasn’t. “Would you still feel that way if I said he was my teammate when I joined the league?”
I took a step back from the dizzying effect of his cologne. “What if I told you I pursued him and got down on my knees to suck him off?”
Carson’s frown deepened, causing me to take another step back. “How good would you feel about me if I told you he’s been fucking me ever since? That he has a key to my home and has access to everything I have. How good do you feel about me now?”
The disgust and disillusionment on his face bothered me more than anything I’d allowed to happen with Leland. I’d permitted myself to care about what Carson thought about me, and that was my biggest mistake. People can’t hurt you if you don’t allow yourself to care.
Stiffening my spine, I poked him in the chest. “That’s what I thought.”
Turning, I left him standing in his workout room while I went to wallow in my extensive list of failures.
Chapter 15
Carson
Iwas still reeling after our conversation. When he told me about what happened with his agent, I knew we had to discuss my reactions.
Maybe I’d overstepped and inserted my opinions more than I should. The problem was I felt so fucking protective of him even though I’d done nothing but push him away. Something had to give soon.
Me: Are you around?
Colin: Around what?
Me: Around the house?
Colin: Why would I be around the house?
Colin: I would be more likely to be in the house. Not around.
I threw my head back and growled. Fucking Australian.
Me: I mean, are you here at the house?
Colin: Why didn’t ya just say that to begin with?
Me: ARE YOU AT THE HOUSE?
Colin: Geez. Mr. Touchy is back.
