My gaze lingered on my guitar, and I adjusted its volume even though it was already perfect, but I needed to keep Cole from realizing how unsettled I felt about all this.
He let it go, and we started from the top. Sam tapped us in and we played the first song we’d perform at halftime during the Pirates game on Thanksgiving Day. I immersed myself in the music and pushed aside any distracting thoughts.
When practice was done, I unplugged my new guitar and placed it inside its stand. After Owen and Sam had gone, Cole grabbed us both aGatoradefrom the mini-fridge. He wasn’t acting like himself and that caused worry to bubble up in me.
“How are things going?”
I sat on my stool and looked at my best friend. He looked tired, like he hadn’t been sleeping. The dark circles under his eyes were a dead giveaway.
He shrugged. “About the same. Sometimes I think I’m being ridiculous about all this, then I remember we’ve been in Portland for two years, and we’re still in the closet.”
My gut churned with unease where he and Patrick were concerned. They’d been together for so damn long, and I refused to choose between them. If those two didn’t make it, I knew there was no hope for me.
“Well, all I have to say is you two better get your shit worked out because you’re not splitting custody of me.”
My humorous comment made him smile, and that gave me a little relief. “We wouldn’t make you choose. I’d get you automatically.”
I smirked, knowing that was the truth. “Seriously,” I said, dropping my vibrato. “I’m worried about you guys. Maybe even more than my crazy ass mother. You know I’m here for whatever you need.”
He met my gaze and nodded. “I know you are, but we’ll be okay.” Then he changed the subject. “How’s the new apartment?”
“It’s great. Too big, but great.”
“You’ll get used to it. Maybe turn one of those rooms into a recording studio. You’ve got the money now to do whatever you want, but leave a guest room. I might need a place to crash sometime.”
My stomach churned. “Why would you need a place? You’ve got this big ass house!”
Cole looked around at the studio Patrick had made for him. “Yeah, but this is Patrick’s house. And if we don’t…”
He trailed off like he couldn’t bring himself to say the words out loud. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! The knot in my gut tightened again as I waited for him to continue. When he looked up at me, I knew what he was saying. And it made me sick to even think about them splitting up.
“I think we need to get Aidan to find us a studio somewhere. It would be easier on everyone.”
Before I could answer him, Patrick and Dreamboat walked in the control room. I watched as Cole’s eyes filled with love as he looked at Patrick. He’d loved him since we were kids, and when Patrick finally got on board, it was the happiest I’d ever seen them. And the way he looked at him made me think about Michael.
Patrick’s voice over the speakers startled me. “Hey babe. You guys finished? We can get dinner.”
Cole’s smile didn’t reach his eyes, and that was a concern.
“Yeah, we’re finished. Dinner’s good.”
Cole looked over at me, realizing we were missing someone. “Where’s Phantom?”
“Out of town.” I motioned toward Dreamboat. “That’s my new babysitter. Isn’t he dreamy?”
“Yes, he is.” Dreamboat’s voice drifted into the room and made us laugh.
“Better watch out, man,” Patrick replied. “Phantom’s got it bad for the bassist.”
That only made Dreamboat grin. “Well, I better guard you extra good while he’s gone. I think some selfies would shake the asshole up.”
We laughed, and I was thankful he’d lightened the mood. Both of my best friends had smiles on their faces, and that loosened the ever-present knot in my gut that got worse every day Patrick and Cole didn’t get their shit together.
“Come on, you guys. I’m buying you dinner.”
We both nodded, and Cole followed me out of the booth. Patrick waited for him, and when he was within reach, Patrick grabbed him up into his arms and kissed the fuck out of him.
Dreamboat walked out, and I followed, giving them a minute alone.
