The doctor ushers them out but Ms. Shelly remains. She tidies up some gauze and tape next to my bed. When she’s done, she looks over at me. “I’ll come check on you in a couple of hours. The doctor’s right, you should get some rest.”
She doesn’t wait for my response, for which I’m glad because I don’t have one. I simply stare out the window from my hospital bed. I can’t seem to form a thought, or perhaps I don’t want to. Instead, I stare at the lines in the sky and let my mind go blank.
*
“Mr. Tucker?”
Ms. Shelly is back. But I don’t open my eyes.
“There’s a woman here to see you.”
“No,” I say.
“No?”
“I don’t want to see anyone.”
“Are you sure? She seems very adamant about coming in. I told her it wasn’t a good time, but she is quite pushy.”
By that description, I’m certain it’s my mother. “Just tell her I’m fine and that I don’t want to see anyone. In fact, I don’t want any visitors while I’m here in the hospital. Put that in my chart or make a sign on the fucking door if you have to.”
“That’s fine, Mr. Tucker. But there’s no need to be cussing with me. I won’t tolerate it.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
She leaves and I close my eyes again. She shuts the door behind her, and I shut off all my thoughts again, closing myself off to anyone or anything.
17
Sage
“I’m sorry, Miss. He has requested no visitors at this time.”
Although her words hurt, her eyes are sympathetic, and I manage to nod through my discomfort. “Thank you,” I say rather pathetically.
“What did she say?” asks Frankie, standing up from a seat in the visitors’ lounge.
“That he doesn’t want to see anyone.”
“Well, you’re not just anyone. Did you give her your name?”
I shake my head. I don’t try to kid myself into thinking I’m someone more special to Casey than one of his own family members. “No, Frankie. But it doesn’t matter. He wants to be alone.”
She sighs and crosses her arms. “Well, I guess that’s understandable. He’s probably tired. Maybe give him the night and we can come back in the morning.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
After spending the night at a motel, Frankie and I are back the next day. Frankie’s heels click loudly against the laminate hospital floor. “Sorry,” she whispers when I look down. “I didn’t bring anything else.”
“It’s okay. I’m just nervous and feeling on edge.”
We drove straight to the hospital from Niagara Falls and then not seeing Casey right afterwards was difficult. But this morning, I feel nervous. Nervous that he won’t want to see me again.
“Good morning, I’m here to see Casey Tucker.” I hold my breath, hoping for a different result.
The nurse sitting behind the desk checks her computer. “I’m sorry. Mr. Tucker has requested no visitors.”
