As usual, Mr. Davis packs the ice cream with three large scoops that are already dripping onto Casey’s hand. He grabs some napkins and licks one drop from the edge of his pinky finger. The act makes my stomach drop and I swallow. He stares at me and smiles. “What are you thinking?”
“Nothing.”
“No, it’s not nothing. You were definitely thinking about something, and I know what that something is.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. It has nothing to do with your tongue.”
“Ha!” he shouts and shakes his head. “Oh, Sage. I love how you say exactly what’s on your mind. You know how to make me laugh.”
I blow a loose curl from my face. “I’m really not trying to.”
“And that’s what makes it so endearing.”
“Thank you.”
“Since you’re interested in asking questions, I have one for you. What made you get into physiotherapy?”
I lick my ice cream and think about his question, but the heat from his eyes makes it a little difficult to concentrate. “Um… well… I’ve always appreciated how strong our bodies are and how they allow us to truly experience the world. So, whenever someone came to yoga in pain or restricted by their movements, I wanted to find a way to help them get back to what they love most and sometimes just get back to living again.”
Casey swallows and stares at me. “That’s another reason I find you so fascinating. You look at something like work as a way of life, as a way to help others. Not everyone is like that, especially not while you’re trying to excel at something. You meet a lot of people who want to tear you down, not bring you up. At least that’s been my life experience.”
His words affect me and I’m not sure if the feeling is pity as I could never pity someone like Casey, but I do feel sad about what he’s experienced. He smiles, perhaps to lighten the energy, and he reaches for my hand again. It’s something I’ve come to expect in our short time together.
When we’ve finished our ice cream, Casey asks, “Want to keep walking?”
“Absolutely.”
Casey pulls out a fifty and leaves it on the counter.
“Thank you, Casey. I hope to see you soon.” Mr. Davis waves us off.
The bell rings as Casey pushes through the door and I squint at the brightness of the day. Casey leads me through the square at a quick pace, not stopping at any of the shops until we’re clear of the center and walking toward the high school and baseball diamond. We walk the track in silence for a little while until his pace slows down and his breathing becomes shallow as though he’s holding something back. I lean my head against his arm and listen to his breath. It’s shallow and quick. I wait, but not for long when he finally sighs.
“This is my favorite spot. Baseball is all I ever did for fun. And no, I didn’t have a best friend. I hardly had any friends really.”
I realize he’s answering my questions from the ice cream shop, and something in my heart flutters, knowing that sharing this with me is huge for him and I don’t take it lightly. But I’m confused.
“It’s hard to imagine you not having friends. You’re a social guy and a big part of the baseball team. I’ve always thought you a pretty popular person in this town. You’re all anyone talks about.”
He scoffs. “I hate it. It’s all so fake.”
“I don’t think–”
“It’s fake, Sage. I know it because when I wasn’t playing baseball, no one cared about me. When I was just Casey, the kid with the learning disability, no one was lining up to be my friend. In fact, kids like Kyle were the first to make fun of me whenever I had to read aloud in class. I would avoid those lessons as often as I could, sneaking off to the bathroom or faking a cold and saying I lost my voice. But everyone knew I couldn’t read. At least not for the longest time until my teacher figured it out and got me some help. But the taunting at recess and after school was relentless even afterward.”
“Oh, Casey, that’s terrible.” My heart broke for the bullied little boy.
“I started playing baseball, and everything changed after that. My whole life changed. I was good at baseball, great at it. Everyone wanted to hang around me and be my friend. But I knew it wasn’t real. I swore the day I left this place that I would never come back. Although I made an exception for my father, it’s still difficult to be here. All those feelings are still inside of me, although buried deep down.”
I stop walking and place my hand on his chest. “I’m sorry you went through all that.”
He shrugs. “It’s not like you were here. You have nothing to be sorry about.”
“I know, but all the same. I thought you were a jerk when you talked about this town, but I was wrong.”
He nods and looks past me toward the baseball diamond. “It feels good telling someone. I feel lighter in a way. Less angry, you know. I bet none of them even remember it.”
“Probably not. But you do.” I caress his hand. “Burdens from our past weigh heavy on our shoulders.”
