I don’t recognize the pale, gaunt face with white stubble. My father has always been clean-shaven. He hated the new bearded trend. He called it lazy. “Didn’t have enough time to shave this morning, son?” he’d ask whenever I would video chat with him.
My walking pace matches the machine beeping beside him. When I reach the foot of his bed, I can’t bring myself to get any closer. It’s as though my heart doesn’t want to recognize the frail body in front of me as my father.
“He looks better today,” says Austin. “I didn’t think he’d make it through the night. But I told him you were coming, and I swear, Casey, his lips moved.”
I don’t want to tell Austin that it was probably his imagination. If it makes him feel better then I’d let him have it.
“Where’s his razor?”
“His what?”
“His razor. Dad hates a beard.”
“I don’t think he cares right now.”
“He will when he wakes up. Do you have one here? If not, I’ll get mine.”
“No. I didn’t bring one.”
I turn around.
“Where are you going?”
“Back to the car to get one from my bag.”
Jane and her friend are still in the hallway, and they lift their heads up when they see me walk out, Austin trailing behind.
“Casey?” Jane asks, surprised. “Where are you going? You’re not leaving already, are you?”
I close my eyes at her question. How could she think that? I know my track record hasn’t been the greatest, but I would never leave at a time like this. “I’ll be right back,” I say and jog to the elevator.
I’m back in less than five minutes with an electric shaving kit.
“You’re serious?” Austin asks when he sees me pull out the shaver and change the blade to the lowest setting.
“Like a heart attack,” I say, trying a light-hearted joke to ease his concern, but his stricken face tells me it’s too soon. “Sorry.”
Austin smiles and I do, too.
Jane and the blonde walk in behind me. “What’s going on?” asks Jane. “Is that a shaver?”
“Yup,” says Austin and crosses his arms with a grin on his face.
I turn on the gadget, and it buzzes loudly in the room. The shaver vibrates against my hand, and I grip it tighter.
“Wait,” the blonde calls behind me. She grabs a towel and arranges it snugly beneath my father’s chin and around his neck.
She has long, slender fingers. No nail polish, but clean manicured nails. “Thanks,” I say when she stands back.
I lift my dad’s chin and start with his cheek and go around his jaw. I pull the skin tightly as I maneuver around his neck. It’s difficult since he’s sitting up.
“Hold on.” She presses a button on the rails, and the bed slowly moves down into a flatter position. His neck is fully exposed now.
“Have you done this before?” I ask.
She blinks with her mouth slightly open.
I laugh at her expression. “I’m just teasing, but you have been helpful.”
