I was used to immediately indulging my worst perversions, but, just then, I was too on edge to think of sex as a solution to my dark mood. Plus, I still hadn’t been able to achieve orgasm with other women, only with Selene. Trying and failing with them would only dredge up all my worries that something was really wrong with me. Before, I had followed my shrink’s advice; I had abstained from sexual activity for a period of time; I had stopped violating my own body and putting myself through even more stress. But my enforced abstinence ended when I gave in to Babygirl in Detroit, and I could not figure out how to solve my problem.
Why could I let go enough to come with her but not with anyone else?
“Oh, hey Miller, this is an honor.”
I quit my musing and looked up at Megan in front of me, staring fixedly at me with her usual sharp half-smile.
Her presence was not at all surprising.
I cocked an indifferent eyebrow and regarded her: She had her black hair up in a high ponytail, her legs swathed in the leather pants I’d often seen her wear, while up top she sported a white shirt so tight and translucent that I could see the fuchsia bra she wore underneath it. She completed the whole look with a black leather jacket, the shoulders adorned with silver studs.
I hated to admit it, but although she had an irreverent, even somewhat masculine style, Megan Wayne managed to look like every man’s idea of sexy.
I received confirmation of that when a staff member walked by us and leered shamelessly at her ass.
“Take a seat somewhere else. Perhaps outside in the cold?” I snapped at her as though she were my worst enemy. And she was. She was the one who coaxed forth all the painful memories, the one who made me regret not killing Kim the day she took us down into that basement to play one of her psychopathic “games.”
“I thought you weren’t into me…” Head Case answered, screwing up her forehead.
What the fuck kind of response was that?
I gave her a confused look. I had no idea what she was talking about, and she just chuckled in response.
“Did I not just see you check out my tits?” She gestured to them, but I kept my eyes fixed on her face.
Sure, I did, but that didn’t mean anything. I appreciated abundant curves on any woman.
“So what? That doesn’t mean I like you,” I said, clearly and without any hesitation. Her intense gaze, a dazzling green color, could have seduced anyone. Anyone except me, that is.
“Okay, I’ll pretend to believe that.” She sat down across from me and crossed one leg over the other. She picked up a motorcycle magazine and started flipping through it. Then she let out a low wolf whistle, and it occurred to me again how alike we were: She was acting like I did when I was trying to get under someone’s skin.
“Knock it off,” I demanded sternly, and she turned her gaze my way. Now, the object of her appreciative attention was not the magazine but me. She looked me up and down, from my splayed legs to the gray sweater under my leather jacket, which outlined my muscles. She made a “not bad” face before locking eyes with me again.
“This again? I told you the tyrant vibe does nothing for me.” She shook her head for emphasis and went back to whistling, this time bouncing her crossed leg in the air. I tried to just breathe in and out, telling myself againand again that she was trying to get a reaction from me, and I didn’t want to give her one. But my instincts got the better of me, and I leaped up off the sofa. I advanced on her, and in one savage moment, I tore the magazine out of her hands and threw it onto the coffee table behind me.
Megan was neither upset nor surprised. She just gazed sadly at the magazine, like a child who had just been denied her favorite flavor of ice cream, before letting her gaze drift down to my pelvic area. I looked down to see what he was staring at and realized the crotch of my pants was directly at eye level with her.
Head Case fanned herself with one hand and gave a sultry flutter of her eyelashes.
“Miller, half the city is always talking about how aggressive your game is, but don’t you think this is pushing it a bit? We are in public, after all.” She looked back up at my eyes, and for a moment, I imagined her on her knees before me, pleasuring me while the tubby receptionist summoned security guards to escort me out. Thinking about a pair of lips around my cock was arousing, but when I thought about those lips belonging to Megan, the tingle in the bottom of my stomach evaporated and was immediately replaced with revulsion.
Disturbed, I took a step back and actually felt shame, for once, at that obscene place my head had gone. I reminded myself to breathe.
“What the hell…” I ran a hand over my face as I reestablished the proper distance between the two of us. I shouldn’t have even been thinking something like that.
Never.
I wouldn’t touch her if she were the last woman on earth.
“Chill out, Miller. Try to rein in those fantasies.” Head Case winked at me, and I shot her a glare.
“Who the fuck gave you permission to cross that line with me?” I roared, and, finally, Megan stiffened. Her self-assured smile faded little by little, and she uncrossed her legs, taking on a more guarded posture. “Stop acting like a stupid kid,” I railed at her. “Always starting shit and fucking with me…because if I ever really did lose my cool, you’d see a side of me you would not enjoy,” I continued decisively, my tone even more severe.Megan had no comeback. She knew that now was not the time to antagonize me further.
Was that what she wanted, to be put in her place? Well, if so, she’d found just the man for the job. The kind of man who wouldn’t be subjugated by anyone, least of all her.
I touched my hair anxiously and growled like a wild animal. I felt trapped.
I pictured a wall in front of me, one so high that I couldn’t see the top of it.
