But he’d never known that about himself.
If only he could have looked through my eyes. He would have seen himself clearly and the universe he contained within.
“Remember…” he spoke again, and I thanked God that I could still hear his voice. “When I asked…how it ends…for the princess and the dark knight? You deserve…a princess ending…be safe…that would make me happiest.” He squeezed my hand in his large, warm palm, but his fingers were already cold and moved stiffly. He coughed again and a look of such intense pain moved over his face that I would have given anything to erase it.
The angels began to gather around him.
I couldn’t see them, but I could sense them.
I could feel the little gusts of wind made by the beating of their wings. They were preparing to take him away with them. Away from me to an unknown—unknowable—place.
Maybe there was a better world to go to. Or a distant star.
Our star.
“You can’t go. What about me? I can’t stand it…you should have a second chance, Neil. You deserve a second chance. You deserve to have it with me.” My lips trembled as I clutched him to me.
“I’ll never leave you, Babygirl,” he whispered again. “I’ll be in the wind…the sun…your dreams. I’ll be in the perfume of a flower, in a book you read; I’ll be in your memory. Wherever your hands or your eyes rest, that’s where I’ll be. Always with you.” He slowly kissed the back of my hand where it rested in his, where it was at home.
“I can’t say what love is, Selene.” Neil stared up at the sky and gave along, slow blink. His breathing was getting even slower, and each inhalation was more of a struggle. “Don’t think…I could ever believe an ‘I love you,’ but…if I had to say what love was…to me…I’d say, tell John he was right. Love comes in…many forms. It has ocean eyes and smells like…coconut. Love is the sound of your voice…the feel of your skin, the taste…of your lips…your hands…your words… For me, love wears…your face…” He smiled again, a smile that seemed to sing of all the lovely things the world had to offer. It sang of the little yellow flowers that bloomed in the fields and meadows, of the sweet shade of a sheltering tree, of the wind, and of the sea. It sang in harmony with me.
“The ambulance! It’s here!” Xavier shouted as the ambulance came to a stop a few feet away from us.
I hadn’t been registering anything that was happening around the two of us. It was as though the entire world had stopped. But I was relieved now to see that help was here. He was going to get the medical attention he needed and go right back to upending my life. I beamed down at Neil, whose head was still balanced on my legs, his bright eyes locked on mine. But something wasn’t right.
Slowly, silently, those eyes closed, like the curtain falling after the actors gave their final bows. His hand slipped out of mine, and the sound of his labored breathing ceased, making the silence seem to echo.
“Neil.” I touched him gently, the lump in my throat making it hard to get words out. “Neil…you said you wouldn’t go…” I choked out.
The honey-colored light in his eyes had gone out. I clutched him to me as tightly as I could, as though I could meld our bodies together and become one with him.
I stared down at him, his eyes closed in eternal sleep. A droplet landed on his face, and almost immediately, another one landed on mine.
Then there was another and another.
I tilted my face up and watched the rain begin to fall hard, like tiny silver pins coming to prick my skin.
Even the heavens were weeping as I did over the cruelties of fate. For the life that was handed to an innocent child, one who did nothing wrong butstill suffered such evil at the hands of humanity’s worst monsters.
The heavy clouds made it impossible to pick out any stars, save one. I narrowed my eyes.
Yes, there was a single star up there.
Right above us.
It remained there, quiet but unbowed. Shamelessly commanding our attention, heedless of the existence of evil, of misery, like there was nothing in all creation that could cast a shadow overit.
It could even force the clouds to move aside so it might look down and illuminate us.
Next to the moon, it shone with a light all its own. They hung there together.
Together in the night sky.
Together amidst the storm.
Together…in the darkness.
The sky had one new star, one beloved by the moon.
