“Kiss me.” It wasn’t a request. I grabbed his head and seized his mouth, and I infused that kiss with every promise I would not keep.
“Selene.” Neil pulled back, staring at me in shock, his mouth swollen and glistening from the passionate kiss I’d stolen from him. We were both struggling to catch our breaths, our cheeks red, our eyes bright with desire, and our bodies aflame. I could feel what he felt—something strong, powerful, incontrovertible. His body was motionless against mine, our hearts beating as one. The connection between us was real and profound. It was silent, but it was true.
I found myself in his eyes.
I found security in his arms.
I found home in his scent.
We were bound together.
We were a mess of contradictions.
We were want, dangerous energy, and vivacity.
A calamitous love.
Unstable magic that had created something awe-inspiring.
“I always thought you were made to push my madness beyond all boundaries, Tinkerbell,” he murmured, a look of sorrow passing over his face. “But I can’t follow you…” He sighed, fighting himself. “I’m heading back to Chicago tomorrow.” He moved to get up, trying to avoid looking at me.
“Wait.” I restrained him with my legs, pressing my heels hard into his butt. I wrapped my arms around his back, the same back that so many other women had stroked and clawed in the months we’d been apart. But none of them had been able to lay a finger on his soul. It wasn’t an easy thing to get to. It was hard, clawing through the armor that Neil used to protect himself from the world. And I knew that better than anyone.
“Please, Selene. Just let me go…” he begged, squeezing his eyes shut and breathing heavily. He wanted to stay with me on this bed. He probably even wanted to make love the way he always did, with all the fiery longing inside him. I could feel him between my legs, his torso pressing down on my breasts, his hips grinding slowly against me, but he was trying not to lose control. “I am fucking begging you…and never in my life have I ever begged anyone for anything.” He clenched his hands into fists on either side of my head. His breathing grew labored, and he chewed his lower lip, continuing to fight his own instincts.
“I know you don’t want to go. I can feel it,” I insisted. I touched his face and stared deeply into his eyes, trying to remind him of what we were until six months before. “You want to run away because you’re afraid of what you’re feeling right now and of what you might feel if you let yourself go with me right now on this bed. Am I right?” I whispered gently against his lips. I moved to kiss him properly, but he turned his face aside.
“Have you ever trusted someone else as much as you trust me? Have you ever made love to a woman like you did to me? Have you ever allowed yourself to let go completely? Have you looked any of the others in the eyethe whole time? Have you slept beside any of them through the night? Did you ever hold them? Tell them about yourself? Did you do all of that with anyone else?” I demanded. Neil gave me a thoughtful look. He rested his forehead against mine and shook his head. “You were making love to me in your own way all along, without realizing it. Maybe these months of separation have helped you see that. And that’s the truth.” Neil closed his eyes, and I felt his body shivering, softening slowly, and with a sigh of frustration, he allowed himself to rest atop me.
The last bit of his resistance melted away as he laid his cheek on my chest, right where my heart was.
I slid my fingers into his hair and held him, cuddling him close to me, because there was no need to do anything else. He was already inside of me, just like I was already inside of him.
* * *
Megan had gone over to her parents’ place while I was sick. I didn’t ask if she was going back to Chicago with Neil.
Instead, I stayed in my room, in bed.
According to my father, I was still too weak to get up.
I’d reluctantly let him come see me, and it had been strange talking to him again. He was never going to accept my relationship with Neil, and just like he always did, he made that clear again with cutting words.
We all ate lunch together, though, like we were a happy family in a holiday commercial. Despite the fact that there was nothing joyful about us at all.
Neil wouldn’t even sit at the table—he couldn’t bear to be that close to his mother.
Fortunately, Logan and Chloe were there to keep the mood up.
Neil seemed to be back to his old self with them.
When I’d come down for lunch, I’d seen the three of them in the living room talking, but I’d given them their privacy. I had no idea what they were saying to one another, but my heart swelled with joy when Neil pulled them both into an affectionate hug.
Maybe he was finally realizing that even though they had different fathers, they were still siblings, connected by a bond so durable thatnothing and no one could ever destroy it. Not even William Miller, that total bastard.
After lunch, I returned to my bed. My temperature hadn’t spiked, but I still had a very bad headache, and my body felt weak.
When I was feeling a bit stronger, I took a shower to scrub off some of the sweat from the previous night. I got dressed then in a heavy sweater and jeans because I was still cold.
