“You could try just giving your father a second chance and maybe let your siblings be a part of your new life? You can keep the past locked away but at least try to be open to the people you love,” I answered cautiously. Neil watched me closely, and I melted when his eyes dropped to scrutinize my mouth.
“Why are you doing this?” he asked in a low voice. His tone was deep and pleasing to the ear. Devastatingly attractive. He took a few steps closer, looming over me.
“Doing what?” I lifted my face to look at him and took a moment to appreciate the lines of his face. They were finely drawn but also strong. His bright, piercing eyes gave me an unsettled feeling.
He was an angel with an ominous allure.
A demon of ethereal beauty.
“Helping me. You’ve been doing it right from the start, ever since you found me shit-faced outside that club…” He stopped himself at my genuine smile, which nevertheless made him cock his head to one side in confusion.
“Do you remember that kiss when we were kids?” I asked him.
“Of course, I remember,” he answered seriously, giving me a tortured look. Once again, I had the almost painful urge to touch him, but I chose not to. If I had a little less self-control, I would have given him a hug.
“I do too. You were the person who showed me that I didn’t have to be afraid to kiss someone. You showed me that a kiss was supposed to be an exchange of affection, not force or violation.” For a moment, I was hypnotized by his lips and wondered what it would be like to feel them on me—to taste them again—after so long. But I knew that wasn’t right. Neil had drawn a very clear boundary in his mind when it came to me, and he wasn’t going to cross it. “We always avoided each other because of what we went through together, but I think we’ve also always supported each other too. I could kiss you because I knew that you were like me, so I wasn’t ashamed. There was never any discomfort or embarrassment with you; I always felt like there was this thing that connected us. The terrible thing that happened to us also meant that we were…bonded,” I said softly. Neil’s face turned stormy. He didn’t like hearing me talk like that, undoubtedly afraid that I’ddevelop some sort of emotional involvement with him. But if I did, I would have been able to deal with it myself.
He didn’t say anything in answer. He just tossed his head like he was trying to shake off his worries. Then he gave me a hint of a tender smile.
Our lives had always been distinct, and after the incident, mostly separate, but it sometimes felt to me that our trajectories were two undulating lines that would never straighten out. Two lines that originated from the same point and were heading in the same direction.
“So don’t ask me why I’m doing it, Neil. I am always here for you the way you have always been there for me. When we were children, when we were teenagers, and now that we’re adults.” I allowed myself to stroke the back of his hand, and he didn’t reject my touch. I had never been much given to physical displays of affection, but this gesture was instinctive, impulsive, and, most of all, honest.
His skin was mostly smooth, rougher on his knuckles, and for all that his veins protruded in a show of strength, his fingers were long and slender. They were attractive hands, large and manly. The kind of hands that made you want them on your body, leaving their imprint in bruises and blushes.
“I should…” Neil cleared his throat and broke our contact, stepping back. “I should finish my work.” He rubbed his eyebrow with his thumb and sighed uncomfortably. He seemed to be wrestling with something. He licked his lower lip and let out a sigh of frustration.
I stood motionless, staring at him, unable to move. My lower abdomen pulsed, and desire was starting to overtake my rational mind.
Shit.
I had to get out of that office.
I needed to get away from him as fast as humanly possible. ASAP.
I should have been able to retain at least a modicum of logical thought, but it was so hard when I saw how his eyes were locked on my thighs, which had been exposed by my position on the desk.
I held perfectly still, waiting to see what he’d do.
I didn’t understand what was going on any more than he did. His stare heated, those golden eyes seeming to glow even brighter, and his breathing sped up slightly.
He looked at me carefully: at my hips and then up to my breasts and then my mouth, where he stopped. I held my breath; his stare felt like a touch.
Breathe. Breathe, Megan,I ordered myself.
Never before had I been so weak.
This was not the place to indulge in my desires. He was not the man to help me act out my lusty fantasies. I felt like a fool. A total idiot.
And all at once, I came back to myself.
“Yes…I also have to finish up a project.” I hopped off the desk, the movement clumsy, and I was lucky that my wobbly legs held me up.
“Perfect, we can ride home together,” he confirmed the way he always did, but this time, there was something different in his voice. Something dark and extremely erotic. I couldn’t stand being so close to him a moment longer—my body was going up in flames.
I nodded with a strained smile and hurried awkwardly out of his office.
I spent the next few hours reviewing and editing projects for my mentor. Yet I had a feeling I’d not had in a long time, a disquieting heat, especially intense between my thighs.
