“No, nothing yet. I’ve been asking the Krew about him, but they haven’t heard anything either. I’m thinking that my only option now is Alyssa…” he said, his tone changing as he said her name.
“Why would you ask her?” I frowned.
“Megan’s her sister; she might have said something to her,” he pointed out.
“Are you sure you want to do that?” I bit my lip. I knew how difficult it would be to get back in contact with his ex or possibly even have to see her. Logan had just as much pride as Neil did, and he didn’t tolerate disrespect or pathological liars. He’d had plenty of times to talk to her in the last six months if he’d wanted to, but he never had.
“Yes. You know I’m with Janel now; Alyssa’s in the past,” he told me calmly. I was the one who had introduced him to Janel when he came to see me in Detroit one weekend. It was love at first sight with the two of them. They didn’t get to see each other very often because of the distance, but they talked and texted every day. The relationship was still in its early stages—they’d only gone out on a couple of dates and shared just one kiss. I was hopeful, though, that something serious would develop between them.
They both deserved it.
“Alright. Remember to keep me posted,” I told him. Logan texted and called fairly often, so there was really no need to remind him, but I was too anxious to do otherwise.
Logan knew how I was; he would understand.
“Of course. Take care of yourself, and don’t forget to eat. Hopefully, I can come for a visit soon,” he said before hanging up, and I heaved a sigh.
I walked back to the kitchen, tucking my phone into my jeans, and slumped back down on the stool, more troubled than when I’d left.
“Logan?” he guessed, continuing to devote himself to food prep like an ideal househusband.
“Yeah. No news,” I admitted miserably.
“You should forget about his brother.” He turned to look at me, his jaw tightened. “I still remember that time he sucker punched me in the face. I didn’t fight back because I knew I’d have to explain it to my coach the next day, and I didn’t want to risk getting kicked off the team. But that dude is insane; he’s violent. He’s lucky I walked away that night.” He waved a hand in the air and leaned back against the counter to watch me more closely.
He knew it bothered me whenever someone said something bad about Neil. I could not be reasonable or impartial when it came to him—an insult to him was an insult to me.
“He’s not as bad as he seems. I know him really well, and he’s had some truly terrible experiences. Neil’s been through hell, and I can’t cast judgment on him. I won’t. I’m sorry.” I shook my head and stared down at my knees. I’d been wearing the same pair of jeans for days. I needed to get myself sorted out and cleaned up and start taking care of myself the way I used to do.
But I didn’t have the strength.
“Because you’re in love with him. Obviously,” Ivan sighed. I blushed darkly, and he cocked an amused eyebrow. “Oh, come on, don’t be scared. You know you can tell me anything. You can trust me,” he said reassuringly.
“I do trust you, but that still doesn’t make it easy to talk about…” I relaxed slowly, trying to suppress my discomfort. “He changed me. I wasn’t weak or irrational like this before. I have never been so vulnerable with someone. I was always afraid of love, but then I met Neil…” I paused, trying in vain to get a handle on the emotions that threatened to spill out all over. “I gave him all of me, and now I feel like I’m losing my mind without him,” I admitted in an embarrassed whisper.
“Chalk it up to a learning experience. Something that helped you figure out what you want and what kind of person deserves to be with you…” he said thoughtfully. “That you slept with him, that you gave him more than you thought you would, that you let him hurt you so often just to stay with him—none of that matters. It’s not important, Selene.” Ivan moved closer,walking around the kitchen island to take my hand and gently stroke it. “Just stow Neil away with the rest of the baggage from your life experiences, and try to move on. Do you have any idea how many other assholes you’re going to meet?” he murmured, rubbing the back of my hand.
I smiled at the kind gesture.
“Are you one of those assholes, Captain?” I teased him.
“Maybe,” he laughed softly, showing me his dimple. I turned my eyes to that adorable little detail on his cheek and reached out to touch it lightly with one finger.
“This dimple is diabolical,” I said.
He watched me smugly, and I could see his ego swelling in real time. “Yeah, that’s what all the ladies tell me,” he answered proudly.
“Don’t let it go to your head,” I huffed, and he narrowed his eyes challengingly at me.
“Oh, you go to my head, alright.” He winked at me, and I went red when I got the innuendo. I was used to that kind of thing from Neil but not from other guys. I got embarrassed and blushed too easily. I sat up straighter on the stool, putting some appropriate distance between us. Ivan could see that my mood had shifted, and he moved back to the stove, realizing he’d overstepped his bounds.
“Uh, would you go and…” he muttered, suddenly awkward. Then he looked at me in that sweet, knowing way of his. “Set the table?” he suggested calmly, ignoring my timid reaction just before. I silently thanked him for understanding why I was uncomfortable and gave him a firm nod. Then I moved around the kitchen, following his instructions as I set the kitchen island with plates, glasses, and cutlery for two. Ivan continued to cook, concentrating hard.
“That should be it…” he muttered to himself, peering into the oven to see if the baked chicken and potatoes were done. It was a simple enough recipe, but Ivan seemed to find it more complicated than that.
“Wait, let me check.” I went over to the oven and examined the dish, glancing at the clock on the wall. “It needs five more minutes,” I said, smiling at him. An odd feeling of warmth spread down my spine when I met his green eyes, already staring intently at me.
Immediately, I felt guilty.
