“I brought you atonof snacks,” I tell him.“I’ll dole some out in the truck so you won’t be tempted to eat it all on the way home.”
Rex says, “Yay!”while Liam gives me a wry look and says, “My upholstery thanks you.”
* * *
The second I step into the house, I’m greeted by the comforting, familiar scents of Mum’s cooking.As wonderful as that is, nothing compares to the genuine smile Mum gives me when she sees me, or the long hug we share.
“I’m so glad you’re back,” she says into my hair.
We’ve talked in some capacity every day since I left, but I missed her.Dad’s death, and the weeks we spent together afterward, have brought us closer in ways I never expected.Between my packed schedule with On the Go and the cost of international travel, I typically only made it back to Honeywell once a year, but I know I won’t be able to be apart from Mum for such long stretches now.Thanks to the money Dad left me, that won’t be an issue.
“I’ve invited everyone for dinner,” Mum says.“Why don’t you go get settled and enjoy a bit of peace before everyone arrives?”
I agree, and take my first suitcase upstairs to my room.When I return to grab the second one, Nathan is coming through the front door.I freeze partway down the stairs.As eager as I’ve been to see him and tell him everything I’ve been thinking and feeling during our time apart, I didn’t know what to expect when we saw each other again.Would he have reverted to his cool indifference?Would he be friendly, yet distant?Would he avoid me altogether?
My worries scatter when our eyes meet, and a slow smile unfurls across his face.The sight sends an electric thrill skittering across my skin, along with a deep sense ofrightnessthat settles in my bones.We’re silent as we take each other in.The dark circles are gone from under his eyes, and his hair appears freshly trimmed.He’s wearing a green plaid shirt I’ve never seen before, paired with well-worn jeans that showcase those gloriously muscled thighs of his.He’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I’m suddenly aware I’m still in my plane clothes—black yoga pants and my comfiest loose-fitting sweater—and that my hair is secured in a messy pile on top of my head.The way Nathan looks at me, eyes bright and searching, makes me think he likes what he sees.
“Fiona,” he says finally, his voice low and gravelly.
“Nathan.Hi.”I descend the last few steps and stop with a few feet of space between us.“I really want to hug you, but…”
Without a moment’s hesitation, he holds out his arms.I step forward, closing my eyes as he wraps me in a tight embrace.I can feel his slow, deep inhale, and I know he’s smelling my hair, just like he’s done for as long as I can remember.
When we part, we go back to staring at each other.There are so many things I want to tell him.Things Ineedto say.I figured out so much while I was away.For starters, I’ve decided I do, in fact, have a favourite colour: the exact shade of Nathan’s blue-grey eyes.Beyond that, and more importantly, I’ve realized that as much as I love exploring the world, and as life-changing and life-affirming as it is, it’s all meaningless without love.Withouthim.His voice, his eyes, the way he looks at me and touches me.The way he laughs, and the look on his face when he makesmelaugh—part pleasure, part surprise.The way his eyes sometimes light with wonder when he looks at me.It’s the way I imagine I look when I see the ancient rolling hills in the Scottish Highlands or the masterpieces in Italy.It’s priceless.
“I need to tell you—” I say at the same time as Nathan says, “I want to talk to you about—”
The words die, and we both laugh awkwardly.
“Go ahead,” Nathan says.
I don’t have a chance to speak before the front door flies open and Rex barrels in.He bumps against Nathan playfully as he grabs my hand.“Come out to the treehouse, Auntie Fi!I want to show you the new bookcase Uncle Nathan built.”
“To be continued?”I ask Nathan over my shoulder as Rex hauls me toward the door.He doesn’t have a chance to respond, but I don’t miss his enigmatic smile.
* * *
When I set off on my first solo adventure all those years ago, I quickly realized I wasn’t taking everything in.Even when I was enjoying myself, my thoughts were often on the next thing: the next city, the next famous landmark I wanted to see, along with the lesser-known places I learned about along the way.At times, it felt like a checklist, and that wasn’t the sort of traveller I wanted to be.
With that newfound awareness, I trained myself to live in the moment.Plans obviously needed to be made, and it was fine to look forward and get excited, but the most important thing was to enjoy what was happening in the present.
I remind myself of that numerous times as the next few hours seem to move in slow motion.When we crowd around the table to enjoy the feast Mum prepared in honour of my homecoming, I remind myself to soak in my loved ones’ voices and the sound of their laughter.When we move into the living room after dinner, I tell myself to savour the warm, safe feeling of being surrounded by people who know me, accept me, and love me unconditionally.
Even with those reminders, I have to fight the urge to jump up, grab Nathan’s hand, and drag him away to someplace quiet.
I eye him across the living room.I’ve done a good job at hiding my impatience all evening, but I’m getting antsy.If the way Nathan keeps shifting in his chair and glancing at his watch is any indication, he’s eager for this night to be over too.We lock eyes, and he goes completely still.I can’t read his expression.
The sound of Liam clearing his throat startles me.He gives me what can only be described as a smirk as he looks pointedly between Nathan and me.Busted.The smirk eases into a gentle smile as he makes a show of peering at his watch and slapping his knees to draw everyone’s attention.
“I hate for this evening to end, but maybe we should let Fiona get some rest, eh?”he says, rising from the couch.“It’s been a long day, and she’s still on UK time.”
When we’re all gathered around the front door a few minutes later, I give Liam an extra-tight hug.“Love you,” I whisper.
“Love you too.Glad to have you back.”He kisses my cheek and then turns to wrap his arm around Joss, who waves over her shoulder as Liam ushers her out the door.
When Nathan is the only one left, Mum makes some excuse about checking in with Aneesha, even though we all know Aneesha will be in bed by now since she has to get up early to start baking at the café.As I watch her hurry up the stairs, catching the small smile she flashes in my direction, I’m filled with warmth.I just hope that feeling remains once Nathan and I have our talk.
