She scrunches her nose, tilting her head in concession.“But therewillbe a next time?”
“If you want there to be.”
“I do, but…are you sure this is okay?”
I chuckle darkly.“No.It could be a disaster.”
She jerks up straighter.“Then we shouldn’t do it.I don’t want to hurt you, Nathan, not again.”
“I don’t want that either, but it’s impossible to stay away from you.When I’m around you, all I want is to touch you and kiss you and be with you.To throw all the rules out the window.”
“I feel the same way.”She ducks her head, gnawing on the inside of her lip.“It’s just…you resented me for so long.I don’t want to go back to that.”
I wince.“I know, and I’m sorry.Working to rebuild our friendship has shown me how much time I wasted.We could have been friends all these years if I’d pulled my head out of my ass.”
She peers up at me with a small, wicked smile that sends a wave of lust zinging through me.“Gotta say, what we just did was decidedlyun-friend like.”
I huff.“The point is, we’re both here now, and I think we should enjoy what time we have together, knowing it’s temporary.I’m a big boy, I can compartmentalize.And I promise I won’t let it affect our friendship this time.”
Her gaze dips to where my erection is still straining against my jeans.“Yes, youarea big boy, aren’t you?”She reaches for me, but I intercept her hand, giving her a warning look that brings that wicked smile back to her face.
“I feel like that’s my cue to leave,” I say, my voice gruff.“You staying?”
“No, I should call it a night too.”
She finds her discarded underwear and holds my gaze as she slips into them.The sight has me draining the remainder of the wine in two long gulps.Neither of us speaks as we put the blankets away and switch off the fairy lights and space heater.We leave the treehouse and walk in silence to the house, our hands and shoulders brushing repeatedly.
At the back door, I’m about to say good night when Fiona steps closer and rests her hands on my shoulders again.“If we’re going to do this pause thing, we should probably come up with some rules.For now, I just want to kiss you again.So…one more for the road?”
It’s just a saying, I know that, but coming from Fiona, it’s different.On any given day, she could repeat it, and it reallywillbe one last kiss before she hits the road.I push that thought aside, determined to stay true to my assertion that I can compartmentalize and live in the moment.
I cup her face and bring my lips down to meet hers.This kiss is unhurried and exploratory, a slow gliding of tongues.There’s a tenderness to it that causes an ache deep inside me.Fiona’s fingers are gentle now as they weave into my hair, so at odds with the way they yanked and dug into my scalp barely ten minutes ago.
When our mouths part, Fiona lets out a soft, satisfied hum.“Good night, Nathan.”
I linger at the back door after she slips inside.I may be a year older and not a bit wiser, but I do know this is one birthday I’ll never forget.
CHAPTER TWENTY ~ FIONA
“So this is where the magic happened?”
I blink away tears and turn toward the voice, finding Mila standing in the doorway of Dad’s office.I’m curled up in the chair by the window, wrapped in Dad’s favourite blanket.I got home from a late-night drive with Nathan a while ago, and as I passed Dad’s closed office door, something compelled me to come inside.I spaced out, so I have no idea how long I’ve been sitting here.
“This is where the magic happened,” I confirm.I scooch over in the chair and lift the edge of the blanket in invitation.
Mila crosses the room and wriggles into the small space next to me, draping an arm around my shoulders, and pulling me close.There have been times in the five days she’s been here that being held by her—in my bed, a random hug, and moments like this—feels like having my broken pieces slotted back together.Those pieces are jagged now, and they don’t quite fit the way they did before Dad died.I’m beginning to accept that they never will.
“Did you have fun with Nathan tonight?”Mila asks.
For some reason, the question makes me giggle like a schoolgirl.I bury my face in her shoulder.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
The day after Nathan’s birthday, I spilled everything to Mila.I was tempted to keep the details to myself, but Mila and I tell each other everything.Plus, in true best friend fashion, she took one look at me and said, “You and Nathan got frisky in the treehouse last night, didn’t you?”
I was hoping she’d tell me I’m being foolish and should put a stop to this ‘pause’ business before it goes any further.Instead, she said that as long as I’m careful and don’t get in too deep, I deserve to let loose and have some fun.
And so, that’s what Nathan and I have continued to do these last three nights; he picks me up after Mum and Mila have gone to bed, and we drive around.At some point each night, we’ve parked somewhere secluded and made out like a pair of horny teenagers.And let’s just say, the balance of orgasms has evened out somewhat.
