“I’m glad you amuse yourself so much,” I say dryly.
“Come on,I’musually the topic of gossip,” she says.“And this isn’t gossip.You know I genuinely care.”
I grunt.I do know that.I also know she always manages to get more out of me than I ever intend to say.“I was an asshole the last time I saw her, so I’ve been avoiding her.”Worried I’ll see disappointment on Joss’s face, I keep my eyes trained on a trio of people holding scripts and talking animatedly.
Joss lets out a soft hum, but doesn’t say anything else.
“I’m still checking on Mae every day,” I say, her silence making me defensive.“And Liam and Rex are still spending as much time with her as they can.In fact, Rex is with her for the day.”
“Liam mentioned that,” she says.“And I wasn’t judging.I understand it’s difficult for you to be around her.”
I sigh.“But it shouldn’t be.Or if it is, I should at least learn to rein in my hostility.She’s grieving; now’s not the time to dump my emotional baggage on her.”
“You’re grieving too,” Joss points out.
Now it’s my turn to hum in acknowledgement.“How do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Get me to tell you things just by asking a simple question.”
She ducks her head, laughing softly.“It’s a trick I learned from my therapist.When someone is resisting talking about a subject, sometimes you have to prod them a little, then sit back and wait for them to spill their guts.”
I nod slowly.Our phones chime at the same time, and we exchange a look as we pull them out.“Did you just get a text from Mae?”I ask.
“Inviting us all for dinner?Yeah.”Her thumbs fly over the keyboard of her phone, and her text pops up in the group chat, followed quickly by Liam’s confirmation of attendance.I send mine too.“Guess your days of avoiding Fiona are over.”
“Guess so,” I say absently.“Couldn’t avoid her forever.”I don’t add that I doubt I’ll have to avoid her for much longer since she’ll likely be leaving soon anyway.
A glance in Joss’s direction shows a wash of sympathy across her face.She promptly schools her features.“I’ll see you later at Mae’s.”She leans in to kiss my cheek again.“Give Liam a kiss for me when you see him.”
“Yeah, I won’t be doing that.”
The sound of her laughter follows me as I drive away.
* * *
I don’t realize how tense I am until Mae opens the door and my shoulders drop from where they’ve been bunched near my ears.Despite having most of the day to mentally prepare, I don’t mind another few minutes of avoiding Fiona.
Mae gives me a tired approximation of a smile.Dark under-eye circles are the only colour in her otherwise pale face.I hold out my arms, and she moves forward instantly, giving me what I think she intended to be a quick hug, except I don’t let go.She stiffens slightly and then, with a sigh, she deflates against me, resting her head on my chest, and gripping the back of my jacket as if to hold herself up.
I clutch her tightly, taking as much of her weight as I can.There have been so many times in the last few months, and particularly in the last few weeks, when I’ve felt like I was barely holding myself together.I imagine Mae feels the same way, so if I can keep her from falling apart for even a few minutes, I will.
With another shuddering sigh, she drops her arms from around me, and steps back.She smiles at me again, a little more genuinely this time, and blinks back the moisture in her eyes.“Thank you, Nathan.”
“Anytime.”
I follow her through the house, noticing she’s wearing a pair of Murph’s old wool socks with slippers over them.It was so strange seeing her walk around barefoot in the days after Murph died.It was like the seemingly simple act of donning socks or slippers was too much for her.
“There’s no more room in the freezer, so some of this food is going to go to waste if it doesn’t get eaten soon,” she says when we reach the kitchen.“I thought we could do a buffet of sorts.Each of us can fill a plate and nuke it.”She turns to face me.“Nothing fancy, but I wanted my people around me, and I thought this was a good idea.”
“It’s a great idea,” I assure her.“Are you…” I don’t want to ask if she’s okay because clearly she’s not and she won’t be for a while.Hearing that she wants her people around makes me wonder if something happened today.
“I’m fine,” she says.“Fiona, Rex, and I had a busy day.We went for a long walk, dropped by the movie set to check things out and see Joss, and then had a late lunch at Sweet Escapes.I’m exhausted, but I also feel like some of the cobwebs were brushed away today, and I realized we haven’t all been together since…”
Since Murph’s funeral.“Right.Well, I’m glad you invited us.”
“Fiona and Rex are out in the treehouse,” she tells me, peering out the back window.“Will you go tell them dinner will be in half an hour or so?You know what Rex can be like if he’s in the middle of a game.”
