“Exactly. Someone you genuinely like and enjoy spending timewith. Someone you connect with, like you said, and can also beintimate with.” The way he side-eyes me compels me to add, “And byintimate, I don’t just mean sex. Becauseobviouslysex.” We both laugh. “Imean stuff like letting down your guard and being your true selfwhen you’re with that person. Also, being close and having physicalcontact, even if it’s just holding hands. I miss holding hands. Inever seem to date people who want to hold hands.”
When silence fallsonce more, I aim the remote at the TV to keep scrolling. Lelandstops me with a hand on my arm. Our eyes meet and hold, and I waitexpectantly. Finally, he shakes his head. “Never mind.”
“No,what were you going to say?”
“It’sstupid.”
“Well,now youhavetotell me,” I say, prodding his arm.
Hechuckles under his breath. “Okay. I know it’s not quite the same aswhat you were talking about, but…wecould hold hands. I miss that closeness withsomeone too, and it’d be good practice for when we’re around otherpeople. My mom will expect at leastsomePDA between us, and I’m surepeople at the reunion will too.”
“Hmm,that’s true…”
Lelandholds out his hand, palm up. I watch his face as I place my hand inhis. He smiles and twines his fingers through mine. We sit likethat for a minute before he shifts around to get comfortable,leaning his head on the back of the couch. I don’t know how longLeland will be staying or how much attention we’ll pay towhatever’s on the TV, so I selectFriendssince it’s a comfort show forme and one that’s easy to pick up at random.
We sit like thatthrough an entire episode. It’s a good thing I’ve seen this showmultiple times, considering I don’t take in a single detail. All myfocus is on Leland: the light scent of his cologne and shampoo, hisquiet laughter, the points of contact where our fingers connect.His upper body is tilted toward mine, close enough to feel hiswarmth, but not quite close enough for our shoulders totouch.
Ihadn’t realized my head was angled ever so slightly in hisdirection until he glances my way and our eyes lock. I fight the‘he caught me staring, lookaway!’ instinct, and hold his gaze. Hesmiles after a beat and dips his head down to rest it briefly on myshoulder.
The next episodestarts. It might be my imagination, but I don’t think I’m the onlyone not paying attention to what’s happening on the screen. Lelandshifts slightly so our shoulders are touching. He holds very stillfor a moment, as if he’s waiting for me to move away, and then herelaxes. When he begins rubbing his thumb over mine, my brainnearly short circuits. For all I know, he’s not even aware he’sdoing it, and yet the simple touch sends a rush of tingly warmththroughout my body. If the innocent and chaste gliding of his thumbover my knuckles plays this much havoc with my body, what would itbe like to have Leland touch me in other places?
“Maybewe should kiss,” I blurt. I don’t even remember thinking the words,and now there they are, hanging in the air between us. I wrench myhand free from Leland’s and scramble into an upright position,putting some space between us. “I mean, as practice. Like the handholding. Won’t people expect us to kiss? Your mom might not, that’dprobably be weird, but—”
“Stella, it’s okay,” Leland says, cutting me off mid-ramble. “Iwas actually thinking that too, but I didn’t want to make thingsawkward.”
“Ireally took one for the team then, eh?”
“Yeah,you did. Thanks for that.”
I laugh and shovehis shoulder. He catches my hand and holds onto it, using it todraw me closer until there’s only a couple of inches between ourfaces.
“Thisokay?” he asks, his voice a low rumble.
I make a sound ofassent. Leland’s proximity has taken away my ability to form words.This close, I can see flecks of gold in his dark eyes. His cheeksand chin are dusted with a five o’clock shadow. Just like my mouthworked independently of my brain a minute ago, my hand lifts, thebacks of my fingers brushing along Leland’s cheek to feel the hintof roughness there.
His eyes widenslightly at the contact before dropping to my mouth. His tonguedarts out to wet his lips a second before he leans in and presseshis mouth softly to mine. This would be enough; surely nobody wouldexpect more than a chaste kiss in public. Most people aren’texactly comfortable sucking face in front of an audience,right?
My eyes remainclosed when Leland’s lips leave mine. A second later, his teeth niplightly at my bottom lip, drawing a gasp from me. My eyes fly openand I swallow a second gasp at the unexpected heat in Leland’seyes. He tilts his head as if seeking permission. Instead ofresponding with words, I pull him closer and kiss himagain.
I’d be lying if Isaid I hadn’t occasionally daydreamed about kissing Leland when wewere teenagers. Probably half our school had similar fantasies. Thereality is better than any of my teenage daydreams, though. The manknows how to kiss. His mouth moves over mine, hands gently cuppingmy face. When he gives my lip another teasing little nip, I fist myhands in the front of his shirt. A combination of gravity anddesire send me drifting backward on the couch, bringing Leland withme.
A sound breaksthrough my lust bubble. Voices? Something…jingling? Leland musthear it too because his mouth leaves mine, his warm breath heavy onmy lips. Realization dawns a second before the door swings open.Leland and I spring apart, with him rocketing upright and mescooting to the far end of the couch. We stare at each other withwide eyes for several beats before we burst out laughing. There’sno way Evie and Wesley are going to miss our disheveled state andswollen lips.
“Hey,you two,” Evie says, smiling brightly when she sees us. “Leland, Ididn’t know you’d be here or I would have brought enough dessertfor all of us.”
“Oh,that’s okay, I really should be going anyway,” Lelandsays.
“I hopeyou’re not going on our account,” Wesley says as he hangs up hiscoat, then Evie’s.
“Ormine.” I say the words quietly so only he can hear them.
His gaze whips inmy direction and he gives his head a little shake, reaching for myhand, but stopping just short of making contact. “I actually didn’tmean to stay so long,” he says, addressing the room at large,although he’s still looking at me. “Felicity needs my help with adelivery early in the morning, so I should head home and get tobed.”
Evie and Wesleyslip past us into the kitchen. I can feel my best friend’s eyes onme as I give Leland a nod. He reaches for my hand again, grippingmy fingers this time as he gets to his feet and pulls me withhim.
“I hopewe can all hang out together sometime soon,” he says to Evie andWesley. His fingers are still loosely gripping mine. “Maybe thefour of us could go on a double date.”
“Ooh,yes!” Evie says. “Wesley and I were saying the other night that wehope to make couple friends soon since some things are more fun asa group.”
