I bite the inside of my cheek to prevent a laugh from escaping. I’ve never heard it referred to as ‘the agony of dating’, but he’s not wrong. “Well, at least you’re very self-aware.”
He lets out a little puff of breath I think is meant to be a laugh. “Therapy has been good for something then.”
We slip into silence, both of us savoring the last of our coffee. With my body angled halfway toward Jasper, I watch him while his eyes scan my bookshelves. My imagination takes over, as it’s known to do, and for a moment I allow myself to envision this as a scene of domestic bliss. My tiny apartment feels different with a man in it; his presence seems to fill the space, and I like the way the light scent of his cologne hangs in the air.
Our life could be made of Saturday mornings like this, except I’d insist he stay in his pajamas. Or at least wear jeans—maybe even unironed ones. We’d cook breakfast together—because if I’m going to indulge in imaginings, I have a fridge full of food—and linger over coffee before heading to the market or taking a long drive in the country. I did some of those things with TJ, but he was a people person who wanted to be out, be seen, be on the move. I bet Jasper knows how to justbe.
The sound of Jasper clearing his throat brings me back to reality and the fact he’s caught me staring at him while daydreaming.Oops. Heat floods my cheeks as I realize how inappropriate it is that my mind just wandered into picturing myself running my fingers through Jasper’s hair and undoing the top couple of buttons on his shirt.
“Sorry.” I shake the images from my head. “I…I was just thinking of what you said about dating. I hate it too. It would be so much easier if you could just meet someone naturally and spend time together, you know? Like this.” I wave a hand between us.
Jasper’s eyebrows pinch together before inching up. Great. First he catches me ogling him and now he thinks I’m—what? Hitting on him? After a moment, he says, “I suppose you’re right.”
“I’m sure your therapist will be happy your social calendar is full for the next month or so with all the pre-wedding stuff.”
“Yes, she’s thrilled. When I balked at the idea of dating, she pointed out weddings are a good place to meet people. ThenIpointed out I’ll be related to half the attendees since it’s a small wedding. Still, the socialization aspect should be beneficial in my quest to become less awkward in group situations.”
When he finishes speaking, his gaze flicks to my mouth, making me aware of the fact I’m biting my lip to hold in a smile. I don’t want him to think I’m laughing at him, it’s just I’ve never met anyone who talks the way he does or is so earnest. It’s equal parts fascinating and adorable.
“I’ll help any way I can,” I tell him. “I like to think of myself as an introverted extrovert. I enjoy being around people and can be outgoing when the occasion calls for it, but I also crave time alone to do my own thing and recharge.”
“So you’re like a…situational chameleon,” he says.
I let out a delighted laugh. “Yes! I like that—situational chameleon. So if you’re feeling awkward or uncomfortable, or if you need an excuse for a moment alone, come to me and I’ll do what I can to help.”
His eyes soften as his mouth curves the tiniest bit. “I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you, Willow.”
A moment passes where we simply look at each other, him with his barely-there smile and me with one that grows by the second. He breaks eye contact first to glance at his watch. “I’m not sure if Evan and Gwen have anything planned for the day, but I don’t suppose I should keep them waiting much longer.”
“Okay. If you’ll give me ten minutes to get ready, we can leave together?” It comes out sounding more like a question than the statement I meant for it to be. I try to ignore the voice in my head that tells me I want to prolong my time with Jasper, even if just for a few minutes. At his nod, I set my empty coffee cup on the side table and race to my room.
When I get back, Jasper is in the kitchen drying his hands on the plaid towel hanging over the oven door railing. Our coffee mugs are sitting side by side in the drying rack.
“Thanks for that,” I say, slipping my shoes on. He murmurs a reply and joins me in the front entryway to don his own shoes. After a quick visual sweep of the apartment to make sure all the lights are turned off and the coffee maker is unplugged, I follow Jasper out the door and down the stairs.
When we reach the sidewalk out front, I stop and face him. “I guess this is where we part ways.” My car is in the lot behind my apartment building, while Jasper is parked in the public lot around the corner. “It’s been nice having you around.”
His expression is a mixture of surprise and pleasure. Still no real smile from him, although I’m beginning to realize the way his eyes soften whenever he’s pleased or amused is the next best thing to a smile.
“Willow?”
My stomach clenches at the familiar deep voice behind me. He didn’t sound all that close; maybe I could pretend I didn’t hear him and usher Jasper toward the parking lot, then double back to my own car. When the voice repeats my name, closer this time, I steel myself and turn to face a blast from my past that’s as unwanted as it is unexpected.
“TJ. Hi.”
“Hi.” He steps forward as if to hug me. His eyes dart in Jasper’s direction and he stops short of making contact. His smile falters before returning to its full mega-watt brightness. “It’s so good to see you. Is this where you’re living these days?”
I hitch my purse up on my shoulder and clutch the strap, fingers digging into the faux leather. “Umm, it is, yeah. You don’t…?”
“Me? Oh, no.” He glances up at the squat three-story building with its slightly crumbling, faded facade. I’ve never been embarrassed to live here until this moment. Despite being in a decent part of town, it doesn’t take a genius to know this place is for people in need of something cheap. “I was actually dropping something off for a client who lives around the corner. Oh, one sec.” He holds up a hand while answering his buzzing phone with the other.
The moment TJ’s body is angled away, I whirl to face Jasper. “Play along. Please,pleaseplay along, and I promise I’ll explain later.” Jasper has just enough time to give me a bemused look before I loop my arm through his, holding on tight as TJ ends his call and turns back to us.
“Sorry about that,” he says, tucking his phone into the pocket of his suit jacket. His eyes go to where my arms are now wrapped around Jasper’s.
“No problem.” I don’t want to introduce the two of them, but TJ is eyeing Jasper curiously and Jasper is Mr. Manners, so I guess I have no choice. I’d love to tell TJ that Jasper is my boyfriend, but I’m not sure Jasper got the whole ‘play along’ thing. “Jasper, this is my ex-boyfriend, TJ Lewis. TJ, this is my…friend, Jasper Perry.”
I don’t release Jasper’s arm, so there’s no hand shaking as they exchange pleasantries. When Jasper attempts to free himself from my grasp, I hold on tighter. He bends slightly and speaks softly near my ear. “I really must be on my way, Willow. Evan and Gwen will be expecting me.”
