CHAPTER ELEVEN
Kieran opens his bedroom door and ushers me into the dark room with his hand on my back. When his warm touch disappears, I hover inside the doorway, waiting for the overhead light to come on. The room remains bathed in shadows until his bedside lamp turns on.
My eyes go directly to Kieran’s bed. It really is small. I haven’t slept in a single bed since my own college days nearly a decade ago, and even then I never slept with someone else in one. A sudden attack of nerves skitters over me, making my skin tingle under my sweater. I remind myself this wasmyidea. I also remind myself I can change my mind at any moment and I have no doubts Kieran would respect me.
Kieran. Sweet, gentle Kieran, who has made me feel something other than numb for the first time in too long. My attention shifts to him as he removes his jacket and drapes it over his desk chair. I admire the snug fit of his black t-shirt as he closes the distance between us. His hands settle on my hips and he ducks his head so we’re eye to eye.
“You okay?”
“Fine. Just sort of lost in my own thoughts. Or ‘off with the faeries’ as you said the first day we met. I’ve been doing that a lot lately.”
His lips twitch into something that’s not quite a smile. His hands rise to cup my face, thumbs sweeping over my cheeks. “Mm. Maybe I can help you move from thinking to feeling.” Warm lips replace his thumb on one of my cheeks. He trails feather-light kisses outward, then moves to the other cheek to do the same.
His mouth bypasses mine, close enough I can feel his breath on my lips. I’m eager for him to kiss me again, yet I’m not at all opposed to this exploration. In fact, I’m curious to see where it will lead.
His lips land on my neck next. His kisses are more forceful now, pressing into my skin, lingering at my pulse point. He nips at me, and my surprised gasp turns to a moan when he covers the spot with his hot, wet mouth. A jolt of lust zings straight to my core. My grip tightens on his shoulders, both to hold myself upright and to urge him on.
His fingers hook in the loose cowl neck of my sweater, easing the material to one side. He meets my eyes for a second before lowering his head to brush his lips over my left collarbone. Who knew the collarbone was an erogenous zone? If the way my heart has kicked up a notch is any indication, it’s apparently one ofmysweet spots. His lips continue with agonizing slowness, pausing at the hollow of my throat before continuing his study of my other collarbone.
He looks way too pleased with himself by the time he straightens and meets my eyes again. Considering how close he was to me, I’m sure he could hear my erratic heartbeat, along with my shallow breaths.
“You know, I think I’ll take that tea now after all,” I say lightly.
His eyebrows rocket up toward his hairline. When I bite my lip to hold back a giggle, he laughs on a gusty exhale, shaking his head. “Almost had me going there, Sunshine.”
“Couldn’t help myself.” I yank him closer and cover his mouth with mine. My hands move into his hair, fingers threading through the silky waves. I make a mental note to ask him what kind of shampoo he uses. A second later, that thought and all others flee my mind as Kieran pulls my body against his and the evidence of his arousal presses against me.
We pull apart long enough to remove each other’s shirts, tossing them onto the floor as our hands and mouths continue to explore. Our lips meet again, and I hook my fingers in his belt loops, tugging him with me toward the bed. I stop when the backs of my knees hit the edge of the mattress; falling back and taking him with me would likely result in a double concussion from both of us hitting our heads on the wall. Hazards of a small bed in a small room.
With my fingers still curved in Kieran’s belt loops, I drop to the bed, bouncing on the springy mattress. The laugh that begins fades almost immediately when I realize I’m now directly in line with Kieran’s lower stomach. The nearly eye-level bulge in his jeans has me swallowing compulsively against a suddenly dry throat.
Peering up at him, I trail my fingers down the fine, dark hair that disappears into his jeans. His pupils are so dilated I can hardly see any of the beautiful blue of his irises. He stiffens when I lean forward and press my lips just under his belly button. He’s completely still now except for the tightening of his fingertips on my shoulders.
He growls my name when my fingers reach the button of his jeans. “Mmhmm?” I ask between kisses, infusing the sound with as much innocence as I can.
His hand clamps over mine just as I manage to free the button. “Not yet.” He gives my fingers a squeeze and releases them, bending to kiss me again. He urges me back on the bed and I go willingly, bringing him down with me until he’s holding most of his weight on his forearms on either side of me.
He hasn’t even touched me yet, and I’m already so turned on I could burst. I arch my hips, rubbing against him, desperate for friction between our bodies. I don’t know why we’re still wearing pants. It’s clearly way too much clothing when we should both be naked with him inside me.
Kieran breaks from our kiss and goes back to his earlier exploration, his lips and tongue and teeth doing things to my neck and shoulders that make me writhe. His mouth hovers over one of my bra-clad breasts, his hot breath making my nipples stand at attention. One of his hands leaves my hip, and instead of moving to my breast like I expect, his fingers begin sliding down my belly toward the waistband of my jeans.
I’d be embarrassed by the desperate sounds I’m making if I cared about anything other than Kieran finally touching me. My muscles tremble under his touch and a shuddering exhale escapes me.
He’s just started working at the button on my jeans when a door slams somewhere, followed by voices filling the hall outside his door. The sound startles me so badly I jerk upward and my forehead collides with Kieran’s shoulder.
“Ow,” we say at the same time. Our eyes meet, and a second later we’re both collapsing on the mattress, laughing hysterically.
“I’m going to have a head-shaped bruise on my shoulder tomorrow,” Kieran says breathlessly, rubbing at the spot where my head rammed into him.
“Well, I’m going to have your fingertips imprinted on my shoulders from when…” I trail off, releasing a sigh that ends in more laughter. “Talk about a mood killer.”
“Is your head okay?” he asks, and I nod. “I guess we should be glad we didn’t headbutt each other.” I lift up and kiss his shoulder where he’s still massaging it, and he kisses my forehead. The voices outside the door trail toward the back stairs and fade away completely.
My eyes seek Kieran’s once more and our gazes lock. The old me, the one who always asked for signs and took cues from the universe—the one who still appears from time to time, at moments like this—whispers in my mind that we were interrupted for a reason. Some of the heat has dimmed from Kieran’s eyes, but I know he still wants me. We’re pressed close enough together I can feel his hard length against me. He smiles softly, looking as uncertain as I feel.
“Should we…?” he asks, reaching out to brush my hair over my shoulder.
The moment is slipping away. We could get it back if we wanted to—all he’d have to do is kiss me or touch me and I’m certain I’d be right back to where I was a minute ago—but it doesn’t feel quite right anymore. I don’t have a single doubt about Kieran, but part of me does wonder if, despite how I felt earlier, it really is too soon to have sex. If we should explore our emotional connection before getting physical.
