CHAPTER TEN
Kieran calls as promised and we agree to meet at Luigi’s the next night. Even though I’d already told him I was free, my first instinct was to push it back to the weekend. I’m on an earlier shift at the Village all week and I have an article due to a travel magazine in two days. I fought past the resistance and agreed, afraid putting it off would send the wrong message, both to him and to myself. I didn’t want him to think I was giving him the runaround, plus I knew I’d have to start essentially retraining my brain to remind myself Icanhave a relationship with Kieran and itwon’tmake the rest of my life fall apart.
I remind myself of this again as I park in the Luigi’s lot. After my unexpected reunion with Kieran last night, I sat in my room and did a lot of soul searching. One big conclusion I came to: I’ve lost my spark. The special something my mom always told me I had that set me apart. Made me who I am. Made me her little ray of sunshine. I need to do what I can to keep her in Birch Hill, but hiding myself away and burying myself in work isn’t healthy. I can’t keep going through life numb to everything but the ache in my heart and the worry that eats away at my gut.
The door to the restaurant opens and Kieran steps out. He must have been waiting inside for me to arrive. He’s wearing the same denim jacket he wore the last time we saw each other, and it reminds me of how irresistible I found his ability to be both adorable and sexy. I still find it irresistible, except now I don’t have to deny that pull. With a deep, fortifying breath, I get out of my car. My hands shake as I stuff the keys into my purse. My legs don’t feel entirely solid as I close the distance between us and stop in front of Kieran.
We simply stand in front of each other, smiling. I wonder if he’s feeling even half of what I am—hope, excitement, trepidation. I can’t believe this is actually happening. We’re here together, on purpose, just the two of us. No family, no friends, no payment exchanging hands. Just Meredith and Kieran.
He reaches out first, gently gripping my shoulders. As our faces draw nearer, I realize at the last second he’s aiming for my cheek while I’m aiming for his lips. I end up planting a kiss on the edge of his mouth, and his momentum carries him on to graze my cheek.
“This is going to take some getting used to, isn’t it?” Kieran says with a light laugh. “Do over?” I nod and he kisses me directly on the lips. It’s too brief for my liking, but he’s right—it’s going to take time for us to get used to each other and to remember it’s okay to be affectionate now.
“Speaking of do-overs, that was my reasoning for picking this place, in case you wondered.” He motions to the restaurant door and we go inside. “The food and service were great, and I thought it’d be nice to come here just the two of us. Make some new memories here that don’t involve my obnoxious family.”
I stifle a laugh. “Howisyour family?”
“Still obnoxious,” he says, nodding solemnly. He turns to me and I see the twinkle in his eyes. “They made it back to Ireland safely. I’m sure my dad didn’t waste any time returning to his reign of terror. I called my mum the other day and she told me she’s started taking a painting class, so that’s something.”
“Good for her.” I’d like to think the O’Malleys’ recent visit to Canada and seeing how content Kieran is with his new life inspired Maeve to take some independent steps of her own.
The hostess greets us as she returns from seating a group. She’s about to lead us to a table when Don bustles over, gripping my shoulders and giving me a kiss on each cheek before shaking Kieran’s hand. He murmurs something to the hostess, who steps aside to let him scan the seating chart.
“Ah! I know just the table. Follow me.” He grabs two menus from the stand and strides off toward the back of the restaurant. “I chose this same table for Hugh and Ivy the other night. Quiet, romantic—perfect for a beautiful couple like you.”
Don’s words, paired with Kieran’s warm hand on the small of my back make my cheeks heat with pleasure. I can’t remember the last time I went on a proper date. Or the last time Iwantedto go on a date. Even though romance has been just about the furthest thing from my mind in the last year or so, being here with Kieran makes me see I’m ready for a bit of romance in my life.
Don stops at a booth near the back; the chatter and laughter of the restaurant are a quiet hum back here, and the surrounding tables are vacant. The lighting is low, with realistic-looking LED candles flickering in glass jars on the table.
“You’re right, thisisperfect,” I tell Don. “Thank you.”
He hands us the menus once we’re seated, and gives us a small bow before leaving.
Kieran clutches his menu, staring at the cover. I get the feeling he’s avoiding my gaze. Maybe now that we’re actually here together, just the two of us, he’s having second thoughts. I don’t think that’s it, though, especially if the way he shifts around in his seat is any indication. I think he’s experiencing the same thing I am: a strong case of nerves.
Last night was strange and wonderful. Finally seeing him after weeks of keeping an eye out for him felt like a shock to my system. Being close to him, remembering the intense kiss we shared, knowing the distance between us was my fault was torture. But then he came after me and I knew I was getting a second chance at something amazing. Things felt natural during our brief encounter in the parking lot last night. Now I need to get us back to that.
I clear my throat. “When you came out of the school last night and I was just turning around?”
He lowers his menu and meets my eyes.
“I had no idea how you felt about me after leaving things the way we did last month. I knew I had to talk to you, though. To see if there was still a chance for us. And then there you were.”
He loosens his white-knuckled grip on the menu. His tentative smile holds a mixture of relief and curiosity. “What made you change your mind?”
“Kitty had said something to me a minute before that made me realize what an idiot I’d been for letting you go.” His smile grows, bordering for a moment on a smirk before slipping into something soft and sweet. The way he slowly leans forward makes me think it’s an involuntary move. He wants to know what I’ll say next, so I need to make it count. I need to erase any doubts he may have, and show him I’m serious. This isn’t a game for me, just like I’m certain it’s not a game for him.
The words pop into my mind. I take a deep breath before saying them, hoping I don’t scare him off. “I realized something I think I actually knew all along. That maybe you were the one worth breaking my rules for. Worth risking h-having…having my heart broken.”
Kieran’s eyebrows jerk upward. “You think I’d break your heart?”
“Not on purpose,” I say quickly. “Few people set out to actually break someone else’s heart, right? But there are some things happening in my life right now—things I promise to tell you about—that have made me feel kind of…fragile. And I was afraid letting you in could potentially mean opening myself up for more problems, more distractions, more heartache.”
He nods slowly, the movement causing a wavy lock of hair to fall over his forehead. I resist the urge to reach out and brush it back. I need to know what he’s thinking first. “Makes sense, I suppose. Whatever it is that’s going on with you and whatever made you decide to take the risk, I’m grateful.”
Now I do reach for him, brushing the curl off his forehead and letting my fingers linger on his cheek. He catches my hand before I pull away, holding it loosely in his.
“For what it’s worth, Meredith, I promise to be careful with your heart.”
