"This is problem," Babushka said firmly. "Ve need Russian traditions for proper marriage."
"I don't think—" Piper tried.
"My husband and I vere so much in love for sixty-two years until he decided to die," Babushka said. "You know vhy? Traditional ceremony."
Piper had no idea what to say to that, so she said, "My parents had a traditional ceremony the first time. It didn't stop them from divorcing when my dad decided to try yoga with the instructor in her bedroom. My mother sank his fishing boat in revenge."
Shelby choked on her stew. "You never told me about the boat."
"Not my go-to party story," Piper said entirely too chipper and painfully aware of Zach studying her with new interest.
Babushka recovered quickly. "For Anna, ve need doves. At least twelve."
"Absolutely not," Piper said firmly, sitting straighter. This was her professional territory, and animals were a hard stop. "They're unpredictable, they make a mess, and half the outdoor venues in Denver have restrictions against bird releases."
Rather than being offended, Babushka seemed pleased by Piper's pushback. "Good. You have backbone. Important for vedding planner. Vhat about vodka fountain?"
"Insurance nightmare," Piper replied automatically.
"Tablitsa Sud'by, then," Babushka countered.
"What's that?" Shelby asked.
"Traditional Dvornakov custom. The Table of Fate vhere ve seat all single friends for potential romance."
"That's actually not a terrible idea," Piper admitted, her mind already arranging seating charts. "It's essentially targeted seating arrangements. I can agree to that one."
"See?" Babushka beamed triumphantly at Zach. "She understands tradition. This is vhy I come to help."
Zach, who had been watching this exchange with a mixture of horror and fascination, finally found his voice. "Babushka, I'm sure Piper appreciates your input, but she has a process?—"
"Process." Babushka scoffed. "Marriage is not process. It is a journey."
"The journey requires a roadmap," Piper insisted. "And in this case, the bride and groom create the plan."
"Vith guidance from vise elders," Babushka added.
"And the Stallions football team," Zach added.
Piper looked at Zach again, a silent plea for intervention she hoped to hell he understood.
"Babushka," Zach said gently. "Piper is very good at what she does. This is Anna and Drake's day."
"Pah. Young people need guidance," Babushka declared. She turned to Shelby, "You have good energy. Creative spirit." She gestured at Piper, "This one, she'll loosen up."
"That's what I keep telling her." Shelby agreed enthusiastically.
"I'm perfectly loose," Piper protested, painfully conscious of Zach's amusement.
The synchronized skeptical looks from all three of the others made her slightly reconsider that stance. "I mean, I'm appropriately flexible when the situation calls for it."
Zach's eyebrow raised slightly, and the hint of a smile playing at his lips made her face grow warm again.
"Like ved—" Babushka started.
"Like professional situations," Piper cut in, seizing the opportunity, "Actually, I do need your help. We're trying to find some edible glitter suppliers for the wedding cake. We need a… a very specific color. Zach mentioned something about your connections?"
Babushka's eyes lit up. "Ah. You want svyataya iskra. The holy spark. Very important. Brings prosperity to the marriage."
