Yet…
Here he was. She was it.
The idea of life without Em still ached a little, but not in the same way it had. The idea of life without Courtney? He couldn’t breathe.
This was a ridiculous train of thought because he had Courtney. Had what he wanted with her.
Chet stood guard at their bus.
“She in there?” Bax asked.
Chet nodded.
“How pissed is she?”
Chet rolled his teeth over his bottom lip. “Not my place to say.”
That was remarkably unhelpful.
Bax hurried up the stairs, let himself in, and drew up short because she was right there. Sitting by herself, holding Tiny Badass with her arms around her belly, and looking wrecked.
“Courtney.” He pushed the door closed behind him.
“I just need a minute,” she said, and dammit, she sounded strong even with a broken expression on her face.
“I fucked up.” Best to just own up to that shit.
She shook her head. “No. You didn’t.”
“Yeah, I did.” And he didn’t want a hall pass for it either. He needed to own it so they could get through it.
“I fucked up, Bax.” She patted the seat beside her, but something told him he probably shouldn’t sit, because the result of this conversation was not one he’d enjoy.
“You didn’t.”
“The songs you wrote were truth. I needed to hear that.” She nodded while she spoke, as though that would make the words true. “I needed to know where we stand. WhereIstand.”
“That’s jacked.” He reached for her hand, and thank fuck she let him, but she didn’t squeeze his hand in return. Didn’t even truly acknowledge the touch.
“When we started this whole thing in the shower…” She paused. Her throat worked. “It wasn’t supposed to mean anything.”
This felt like goodbye. He didn’t want goodbye. There was too much future for them to have a goodbye.
“Courtney…”
“Just hear me for a second, Brennan.”
That brought him up short. He was ready to listen. Hear whatever she needed to say, as long as it wasn’t goodbye.
“It meant something,” she continued. “That day in the shower. It meant a lot, actually. I didn’t realize it before. What I mean is… it meant more than just Harley.” She stopped. Pulled her hand from his. Laid it against her stomach. “I guess I was in a little deeper earlier than I’d realized until today. And then the baby. Moving to Denver. And you being so awesome to me.”
He wasn’t sure how to forgive himself when just being a good guy to her was a notable change.
“I didn’t even get a bracelet, Bax.” She paused. Swallowed. “Even Em got a bracelet.”
He clenched his jaw because “You’re not the kind of woman a guy gives a bracelet to.”
She wasn’t the kind of girl he could hand some jewelry and send on her way.
