“That’s a lie,” Kitty said with a sigh. “I bought the subscription hoping you might share it with me so I don’t have to renew mine.”
Was sharing a dating profile with your friend even allowed?
“And if I decide I don’t want to do any of this?” April asked. Because maybe she’d rather use the subscription money to go grab sushi another night.
“Don’t worry,” Kitty said, her confidence infectious. “What’s the worst thing that could happen?”
“I fall in love with a guy, have three of his children, and then he leaves me for a skydiving instructor?” That’s what came to mind first, anyway.
“The odds of that exact scenario happening again are really, really slim.” Kitty fished an ice cube out of her drink and started crunching it.
“Ladies!” Simone held up the screen. “We are online.”
Kitty squealed and stomped her feet.
“Oh God.” April snatched her phone. “Who is this guy?”
“His name is Tim.” Simone pointed to where it did, in fact, say “Tim” underneath his photo.
“Okay, hello, Tim,” April said to his photo. She held her thumb over the screen. “Now what?”
“Do you want to match with Tim?” Simone asked.
Tim looked nice enough. He had a really sweet smile. “Maybe.”
“Then swipe left,” Simone said.
“No, you swipe right.” Kitty nodded to the screen. “Left is for the nos.”
“Are you sure?” Simone didn’t seem so sure.
“When was the last time you participated in online dating?” Yelena asked her wife with eyebrows raised.
“Never.” Simone shook her head.
“So you know how to swipe, how?” Yelena asked.
“You’re correct, listen to Kitty,” Simone agreed.
April must’ve looked a little green because Yelena stopped tilting her Coors bottle to her mouth and said, “It’s just talking. And we’re here, too.”
Except Yelena’s uncertainty was wearing off on April because, heck, she wasn’t sure about any of this. What if she spent her entire online dating foray swiping the wrong direction?
“Leave ’em at the left,” Kitty recited. “Receive ’em at the right.” She brushed her hands together. “Super easy to remember that way.”
“Okay, so I want to receive this man.” April swiped her thumb to the right. “Oh. Look, there’s another one.”
“That’s how this game works,” Kitty said, her smile wry.
April swiped to the left.
“What was wrong with him?” Kitty asked.
“Nothing, I just wanted to see what happened when I went to the left instead of the right.”
A new man arrived on the screen, and April didn’t like the way his smile looked like he wanted to come through the phone and eat her. She swiped to the left.
“Okay, let’s do this.” April held the phone up, swiping left and right at what felt like pretty random intervals.
