“You must think I’m ridiculous,” he said, holding the pie up to look at it.
“I think you might’ve spent a lot of time around some ridiculous people,” I corrected. “Not to suggest I’m not ridiculous, I definitely am. Just not in the same way.”
“My asshole ex isn’t here to stop me,” Felix said softly. It sounded like a quote.
“No, he’s not.”
I bit into my pie to set a good example, making an involuntary little happy sound as the brightness of the lime and the richness of the pastry and chocolate filled my mouth. Mom must havereallyliked Felix.
That made two of us. Four, since Benji definitely did and I was pretty sure the same went for my dad.
Felix breathed a sigh, as though he was about to jump out of a plane, and then bit into his own. His eyes widened as though he’d just had the shock of a lifetime. I watched him pull the tentative bite into his mouth on the tip of his tongue, eyes fluttering closed as he chewed slowly and delicately. Savoring it.
“I wanna take you somewhere,” I said as the idea occurred to me.
Felix’s eyes snapped open.
“On a date, I mean,” I clarified, looking down at my coffee. If he was going to say no, I couldn’t look him in the eyes while he did it. “I was thinking Friday? Around eight?”
It’d been so long since I’d asked anyone on a date that I wasn’t sure I was doing it right.
“Really?”
Felix’s tone made me look up. He wasn’t disgusted, or reluctant. He wassurprised.
“Really,” I said. “My palms don’t sweat like this when I’m kidding.”
Felix’s lips cured up into a tiny smile.Shy.
I hadn’t seen him shy before now. Not that I wanted him to be, but it was a good look on him.
“Okay,” he said. “Were you planning to tell me where?”
“Nope.”
If I told him, I was afraid he wouldn’t go with me. He could always walk away when we got there, if he really hated it, but I thought he probably just needed a nudge.
Felix had spent his whole life dedicated to something that he’d lost. I wanted him to see that it didn’t all have to be loss. That when you lost something, more often than not, you gained something, too.
I’d lost my sister, but I’d gained Benji. I’d lost my boyfriend, but I’d gotten my hometown and my parents back.
“I’ll pick you up,” I added. “But we’re not going far.”
Felix had lost his career. But I thought maybe, for him, that meant gaining freedom he hadn’t had in a while. Probably he couldn’t see that, yet. It’d taken me a while to see what I’d gained. If I could help him, I wanted to.
He gave me a skeptical look, but nodded as he sipped his coffee, the hint of a smile still playing around his lips. “All right, keep your secrets. I’ll trust you.”
I grinned as a little wave of warmth washed around my stomach at the thought of that. It was good to be trusted.
I really hoped it wouldn’t be misplaced.
“Friday, then.”
“Friday, then,” Felix repeated. “Eight o’clock.”
“Eight o’clock,” I confirmed, taking another bite of my pie. I needed it.
“I’ll be waiting.”
